Conversations through Generations!

Right hand inconsolable H..left hand his poop soiled clothes..Background score..nice shrill shreak contributed by H, inbtwn the ringtone I had set for my mobile

 Dad Calling… somehow i manage to throw the soiled clothes in the tub, attend the phone with one hand and hastily tell Dad..”Im extremely busy, Ill call you later. ” Throwing the phone onto the bed, smehow struggle to lull him to sleep when my not so sweet ringtone shreaks of again, H thinks he has to give his due contribution and shreaks even higher..Now I leap over and grab the phone not without regretting the fact tht i threw it a lill too far the first time!

Dad calling…. – “yes dad???”

Dad : U said ull call later..just wanted to know when!!!!!

I : DAD!!! I told u, Ill call later!

Dad: Yes..but uve told so earlier..and u dint call!

I: OK..ill call u 8pm sharp! Fine??

Dad: ok……

H: Ngaaaa Ngaa

Mom: Is he feeding properly?

I: Yes moom he is.

Mom: You sure right?

I: Mom in this book it says if a kid urnates 6-8 times a day, hes getting sufficient feed.

Mom : yeah bt still..i hope you are sure..tht the baby is getting milk

I: Mom the doc told he has gained 200 gms in a week, which is ideal..which means his feeds are normal..

Mom: Ok..bt make sure you wake him up in the night and feed him ok?? do u do that??

I: Ok ..ill Do that!!

H: Ngaaaa Ngaaa

I: U wet urself??

H: Ngaaa Ngaa..

I: U hungry????

H: Ngaa Ngaaa

I: ?????

H: Ngaaa Ngaa *** thought bubbles*** “Cant you just lift me, for no reason at all?? !!”

I: ??!!!

Eby: Hw was the day??

I: ***GR8!!!****

Eby: I tried calling u..u dint pick the call!!!

I: @#$@$%#@#!@@!@!

Eby: Is he feeding properly???

I:!$@#$#^%$^&%&*(

Eby: Wats up boy??

H: Ngaaaa Ngaa ”Cant u just lift me?? ive gt to pay u fr that???”"

Eby: u hungry?

H: @$%$%^$#@!^

‘God’s chosen’ gift to us!

I hope a couple of you might have read about ma baby due on Xmas day! …

God did try me hard..and I must say for all the prayers..he did in the end make me feel that ma baby is the reward.

Dec 25th is the due date. October 5th I had my regular doctor check up and was told everything is fine. October 19th I just felt there are some rashes. It wasnt all that essential for a check up. Next check was due only on November 5th. But then my colleague insisted that I go..no matter how silly I felt. I chuckled to myself! My doc would think its insane from my part to for a few rashes ..which later were not that visible at all! However I went, reached the hospital exactly 10 mins later than what I had told the Doc, to find out she has stepped out. ((Im not exaggerating ..even a minute when I mentioned 10)) Anyways we postponed the appointment to the next day. The next day the minute she saw me sitting in the chair she felt there was some uneasiness..though I dint realize that aftr all these weeks and days!

She sent us to a scanning center she trusted the most..and insisted that I scan there and nowhere else. The radiologist there broke the news to me. Plain and straight into my face. “Madam there is a problem with your baby, fluid is filled inside the body.” and to my question as to whether the heart beat is there she answered ” Thats there but we cant tell, how the baby will be when it comes out!” and as i was stepping out from her room to wait for the detailed report she even offered – “If you wanna cry you can sit and cry in the adjacent room! From there with the report we went to our gynaec who immediately washed hands referring me to the medical college hospital here. The first gynaec we met there, ver warmly again gave it to me on my face. Dear it is a case of hydrophetalis (pardon me the spelling..i just dont wanna cross check the old records to be certain..it sounded like this). The baby is not going to survive even if it comes out..Why would you want a scar in your uterus unnecessarily. Here this is a catholic hospital we would not do abortion, you will have to get it done outside!

If there are words like the world came crashing down..I felt those that day, when a VERY reputed senior Doc in a medical college hospital told me that. I had only one request to Eby..whatever it is I want the baby. Now that I had 7 months of it growing inside..kicking and moving I wanted it outside no matter what. In the meantime there were friends who had sudied medicine and informed us that this could cause abnormalities in children!..The first person I owe it to is ofcourse Eby..who after hearing all this was damn disturbed but still kept his cool encouraging me that If at all I cried or felt low it would affect the kid more and hence I shouldnt strain maself..

Then there was a 2nd opinion scan done at Srinivasa clinic in Banshankari and even there ..the radiologist (who was famous all over India) told me..”Im not very happy about the baby. Fluid has been accumulated, kidneys are dilated, the head seems larger.. Our hopes were shattered..when a friend of ours made me talk to a famous Doc who practises in Kerala. I should thank him for the kind of reassurance he gave me. Everything was curable and there was nothing major or critical to worry about ma baby he told after cross checking with the x-ray reports and talking to the radiologist. (over the phone)

I consulted a second doc in the same medical college hospital, who aftr seing the reports for a 80-20 chance for the kid..wherein the former meant positive and the latter negative. However Oct 28th Morning she came and told the chances are now 50-50 and the kid needs to be taken out immediately.  On October 30th morning 8.55 am I delivered this complicated baby boy!  I did not see him tillNovember 2nd!  He was immediately taken to the Neo-Natal ICU.

First the lungs of a premature baby needed to be developed for which he took almost a week. Then there was a scanning to be done at the Bangalore institute of oncology to know the disposition of his kidneys and then there was a small bock to be removed which had caused the entire problem of urine accumulation, which inturn had caused the fluid filling.

From October 30th till December 3rd..he was there in the Intensive Care Unit of Bangalore Medical College Hospital. With me begging for his life and well being..every single minute!

And as we have named him  – Hrehaan..he certainly is “God’s chosen’ alm for me.

Today as a miracle..or as if God chose to give me my alms..hes fine..he overcame his lung immaturity after weeks in ventilator..his kidney dilation turned out to have become fine in the last scan done. His block in ureterus valve has been removed in a minor surgery and hes urinating just fine..His bladder seems weak but they have given medicines to improve..

Edited after vimmuuus suggestion – There is a reason I put this up..

2 senior gynaecs..out of which one is famous throughout Bangalore. 1 radiologist who is well known and trusted by docs..had washed their hands off! What if I had sat and just cried?! The problem had started in 5th month and I was going around clueless regardless of my timely visits to the Doc..No symptoms…on uneasiness! I want mother-to-be s who read this and your friends who are pregnant to be aware..at the end of it..it is in your hand.. U make sure that your gynaec.sends you for scanning, checks your weight and BP..every single month..

th fifth month scaning showed the weight of the baby 290gms and the radiologist and gynaec dint even bother about it.(neither was I then aware that it was not normal!).and when my 7th month started I had asked as to whether I should get a scanning done to which the Docs answer was NO! Tomorrow if Hrehaan reads ths ..he ought to be proud! That he was mighty fighter overcame so much.so early…

Bored of Tags? Well heres another one!

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
Eeeekkk! My hair is so oily!

2. How much cash do you have in your wallet right now?
wait a bit lemme check 82Rs..so no one have dreams of flicking my purse anytime its this useless round the year!

3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?
Sore!!

4. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
Ma dad’s its actually kind of a routine for him

5. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?

Sree raagamo (mallu song) for non-mallus pray for me brother!

6. What are you wearing right now?
Salwar!

7. Do you label yourself?
Nope..don’t think anyone can!

8. Name the brand of the shoes you’re currently own?
Catwalk

9. Bright or Dark Room?
Depends on my mood. Dark.if I want to sleep or dream, bright ..if im working.

10. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
Difficult to rear a child whos in her genre..but if I do the task, I guess ill be rewarded handsome!

11. What does your watch look like?
I have 4 all gifted looks good enough for people to check it twice!

12. What were you doing at midnight last night?

Twisting from left to right..in an attempt to sleep~

13.What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
Beka!! B4 u jump to conclusions..a female friend sent it wat was it for, im yet to ask~

14. What’s a word that you say a lot?
Grrrr & sorry

15. Who told you he/she loved you last?(please exclude spouse , family, children)
An ex….ahem ex-manager..in a very sportive sense..just to make me laugh or talk as I was doing neither!

16. Last furry thing you touched?
My neighbor’s pet dog.

17. Favourite age you have been so far?
all ages except the running one I mentioned in the previous post..past is always luring!

18.  What was the last thing you said to someone?
“happy birthday!” twas ma friends bday today!

19. The last song you listened to?

koi aur..

20. Where did you live in 1987?
Madurai. Race course.Bungalow no:2~ Cant forget the address for various reasons!

21. Are you jealous of anyone?
Yep..first  – Eby – he isn’t suffering from the feet swelling, heart burn or back pain of pregnancy! Second – Guys in general..coz they can go anywhere and do anything!

22. Is anyone jealous of you?
Eby says he is.. it seems I get away very easily with things..while he gets stuck and that Im damn lucky..that’s what he says!

23. Name three things that you have on you at all times?
Mangalsutra, wedding ring(which had to be removed now.coz of my pregnancy swelling) and earring.

24. What’s your favourite town/city?
When I was in Mumbai, it was Bangalore. Now that Im in Bangalore, it is Mumbai.

25. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
May – to Readers Digest

26. Can you change the oil on a car?
Nope!

27. Your first love/big crush: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?
To be verrrry frank – first crush was a bearded fellow wearing a khader kurta..standing next to my class pillar..looking at the skies..

I imagined him to be a poet, a thinker..looking at the skies thinking philosophy! Yep its none other than Eby! Who later admitted hes never read a poem! Was allergic to books and he was looking up..not at the skies but the 2^nd floor of our college watching girls!!

So plsss ask me abt my current plsss…last thing I heard abt him is that he is going to learn Portuguese accent with Aishwarya rai   for his next flick guzaarish..

28. Does anything hurt on your body right now?
Yep almost everything does! Carrying around constantly a weight of 3-4 kgs..does help in adding to the pain!

29. What is your current desktop picture?
Calvin and hobbes dancing

30. Have you been burnt by love?
Yep…

And i pass it on to  – nautankey, whats in a name, crafty, kanagu, Ava with a disclaimer ( I have nothing against you people )

Lure of the past

There are some moments that you create..you just imagine them. They weren’t there in the first instance..they are just the creative outcome of your thoughts, aspirations..dreams and then u claim you lost them! You crib of being robbed of them

Im a practical Libran and seldom cry over spilt milk? A watch that was spoilt 2 months after it was bought, a mobile that was lost, a glass that broke, something that was stolen..nothing can bother me beyond a point. I might say a oh and uff! But not more than that. I guess its coz I know they are gone..no amount of worry, panicking or tears can bring them back. Eby at times say its coz I don’t value money. It isn’t that ways, it is coz I value the peace and good moments more I guess. If I cant bring back a mobile that’s lost, there’s no point in crying over it for another 2 days which will result in nothing good!

But there are certain things I cling on to, the silly talks the light walks. The rides before you decide on the destination and endless arguments. Now when these actually happen, you probably wouldn’t notice..I dint as to how beautiful it might appear later. Or was it beautiful in the first place at all? I don’t know whether the pleasure I associate with them actually existed. But I know that now when I’m deprived of such carefree moments, I appreciate and even fret over them more than anything.

Life in a hostel, with pathetic food that was served on your plates after a long queue, the grab for the evening snacks, the last minute realization of semester exams portions..were not one bit beautiful then. But now, they seem so beautiful. We used to eat achaar!! As they was nothing else to eat! But now, apples turn sour!

Somewhere I read nostalgia is a seductive liar. I guess I agree with it. There was nothing great about it then, all the moments I today regret that I lost. But now, when I look back everything seems so charming. Even a simple walk in my backyard seems so tranquil now.

They just did not exist you know, those pleasures I imagine up in every trivial moments in the past! But I fret over the loss of it. It is hilarious! It is insane, but that’s what I do and that is what’s true. I crib with my todays for having deprived me of yesterdays that did not exist. I live till tomorrow just to yearn for this today and this moment which is not so pleasing, but which I will imagine to be splendid! So the cycle continues…

Onam..today and yesterday

More than anything, i guesss this post is to remind myself of this space and remind you people of my existence.. and what with Onam it has tugged me back into the good old days..  yeah when you talk of such things old is always gold. .

Onam meant staying at home, gathering of relatives and neighbours. The best were the oldest that is during school days when for sure your exams will be over before atham( days prior to onam) and you got 10 days leave.  Paddy fields were the biggest source of flowers with abundant supply of ‘thumba, mukkutti and kathiru’. (All flowers..the former pure white,  next golden yellow and the last one greenish maroon in color). The nex set of flowers came from the loose net like thing people tie to mark their territory called ‘veli’. Since this was a risky option, guys in the group took care of that all we lose will be one good smile and there they go swinging and bruising themselves . There is yet another stuff we hand over to them with a little more cajoling. There they go..making a pie out of cowdung and smearing it in the front yard in the shape that we want. This helps the flowers stay a little longer and to bear the wind and drizzles if any..

Next ofcourse is the ‘onakkodi’. Dresses were not like as it is now, you go when there is a sale, you grab a few and come home! Then, mostly the only dresses I got were all..almost all..gifts. For Onam uncles gave. For vishu Dad, for birthdays brother..So in short the dresses I get in a year is directly proportional to the special days!  That inturn made every such occasions an extra special day !

Now comes the ‘Sadhya’..the elaborate kerala style meals! Growing up without mom cancels that ‘yummy mummy’ food off the list. My brother did find a very ‘nice’ alternative! Being the ‘calculative genius’ he is. He encouraged my cooking as much as possible. Yeah I would have got the greatest support in learning cooking than anyone else. From 8th standard, beginning with the basics like kanji(gruel) and puttu (rice powder cake) i graduated to ’sadhya’ by 10th. Anything on earth i wanted to cook, he would bring me the ingredients and also an innocent crowd to appreciate the stuff. Probably the egoist in him never let him utter the words “its nice”, but he did make sure it was appreciated by others.

Initially he would be there in the kitchen, trying in vain to teach me that once im done with one small spoon or plate, as the dish is set to boil in the stove, I can simultaneously wash and keep the used utensils aside! Nope..im a lill like writing exams whilst cooking. One essay at a time! But he stood there nevertheless trying his best..mind you..even if i needed an urgent loo break amidst all the stuff…he wouldnt take care or do anything for that 5 mins, I had to find my own sweet time.  Oh ya..and being a pro at persuasion he had convinced me that coconut when blended in the manual stone grinder added taste to the dishes. And for each of these preparations..I did not use the mixer grinder..but the stone!! But, encouragement sure it was when people were amazed that a 10th std kid had prepared a ’sadhya’.

As days went leaves for onam became inconsistent. College and university problems had Onam inbetween exams. Occassions later turned out to be formalities. Vishu somehow remained the same for a longer period of time as perhaps the celebration was just for one day and it was pretty much inside the house.

Today..It has taken a new twist. We both are working in this day and the funny thing is we both are in-charge in our respective offices for the office celebration. Even if all i wish is a day with him with normal food, it will be injustice as he has taken up the resopnsibility of flower arrangements and sweet distribution at his office. And before I could rant much, me being the only malayalee girl in office who hasnt rushed to kerala automatically made me the person responsible for the ‘palada’(kheer) here.  I was literally inbetween smiles and tears when eby said we’ll celebrate by having dinner at a kerala restaurant!

Thats definitely the only practical solution. But the heart does yearn for more. Simple things seem to be the most difficult ones to achieve. Somehow those neighbours wont be there..those paddy fields have buildings rasing up, stone grinder is no longer used and is probably under dust. New clothes are also kind of out of the story as its just during last weeks sale we bought a few. It is no longer saved up for ‘the special day’. But washed and tried and tested already! And along with the list..emotions like anxiety, and enjoyment also has gone. I need not be tensed thinking if the vegetable is cooked proportionally and the kheer is sweetened properly..the hotel people would take care of that.  Yeah perhaps their bill would bring back the tension The smile has faded with a nostalgic tear.for the yester years. Today Im glad that atleast there is a tug in my heart for those sweet innocent days..tomorrow I fear even that would fade eventually giving way to the indifference that seems to be the biggest pandemic of the age.

Tomorrow i fear..I dont even have such memories to gift my children. They’ll grow up with the urbanised festivals, or perhaps even grow up to deny the existence and beliefs of such mythological stories. Neither are they going to believe in the pot-bellied, goodnatured devil, judging flower carpets nor in the bearded man in sleighs coming all the way from north pole to hide gifts.

They wouldnt long for ‘that special dress’, ‘that special food’ any time of the year. Fashion and not festivals would keep a track of those. They wouldnt worry as there wasnt anything what they could remember that could be faded in the later years.. But I would know their loss..of running around and nibbling flowers with the early morning dew drops.. or of the drizzle of goodness and memories that only such stupid mythological stories could give!

Pregnany & men :P

Lack of connection at home, uneasiness, no right frame of mind etc can be summed up as the reason for my brief vanishing act! Well its been days I decided its time I get back! Life sure had so many ‘blogworthy’ things and I just couldn’t keep it to myself

In a couple of days I’ll enter my 5th month of pregnancy. The first and second went almost unnoticed..from the 3rd till now I should say things are worth mentioning. For all those ‘first things’ in life you have those nervous jumps and this was no exception. We both being ‘newcomers’ to the field sat and researched what “all” should be eaten, done during pregnancy. A kind advice to all those ‘to be’ moms never perform this act..especially infront of others..even more importantly infront of your husbands!

The day it was confirmed, we switched on the PC, internet and went through all articles possible on pregnancy! And mind you, that was probably for one single week that I have ever read those! All nutritional facts were digested more by Eby! He learnt that an egg a day is advisable..but apparently im a veggie!, milk is great, but I hate the very smell!~! He read leafy vegetables are essential and those who think the taste sucks you know what I intend to say!! All in all research was a very bad thing to do! Unfortunately for me no one advocated chocolates or subway .

2nd month we called up everyone and said – Hey Im fine..morning sickness??? No idea buddy!..cravings?? there was never a day I hadn’t craved for chocolates in life and this is no big deal, only difference being that the research made me boycott them (psssstt atleast partially). Well, 3rd month greeted me a tad different. I started throwing up with the smell of the things being cooked in the kitchen. And me being the fooddie I am, I just don’t give up. The fact is, my hubby just dint take account of how much I ate, but rather just..how much I puked

Operation phase no:1 Eby was analyzing the situation. A born critic that he is, he analyzed the worst! Not just that I’m having anything nutritious, but also puking whatever junk I stuff in! Action Plan : So first phase witnessed a lot of bombarding me with the possible ‘disaster’ I’m causing to the kid by “puking”!! This is where I entirely miss to understand “Guys” They “”seem”” so logical, rationale in everything else but just don’t understand that “puking” is an involuntary action???? Result : The second scan with everything perfect, somewhat soothed the situation.

Operation phase no:2 – Cause and effect analysis! This indeed was the most horrid & hilarious phase of my pregnancy! Horrid coz I was the one to go through, hilarious coz.. Eby’s analysis went one step further. Everytime I puke he would stand and insist that I explain what exactly is the ‘feeling’ that makes me throw up.Till then I really was proud that my hubby never threw up no matter how much he drank..but then I started regretting! Action Plan – This was the most enjoyable! He took up cooking as I finalized that it is my spending time in the kitchen behind all problems! Well his entry into kitchen is a story in itself to narrate! The first attempt was to make maximum use of the few minutes he spends in the kitchen and he came up with most nutritious ‘plantain stem’!!! with…. ‘tamarind’. J I should say his later attempts were adorable and I have fallen all over in love with him again for even attempting. But the first few did crack me up!!!

Operational Phase no 3 – Cure stage! He discovered that puking is a purely psychological. Do I thank the Gods that he aint no real doctor!?!. He believes that instead of rushing to the wash basin to puke I should rush to the kitchen, have some water, some candy and start diverting my attention..and I wouldn’t puke! Is that true?? Well go try for yourself I really don’t want to explain the enjoyment I had in throwing up when he was not around

Well there are more..the way you deal an arguement..(btw ladies..make max use of the 9 months..the only phase where you will okayed for everything) the way ur silly mistakes are forgive (gritting one’s teeth) and..errr Lemme stop here, Vimmuuus cartoon confessing his blog addiction..has sent eby sleepless he believes I’m close

For all those who thought, pregnancy was only for the woman to go through well suppressing the small feminist in me let me admit, the man does have an equal 9 month process. He may not get a bulge in the tummy, a burp when least wanted, a back that aches, incessant puking and completely irrelevant cravings~But he does have his own apprehensions which he never thought he would have, whilst teasing his colleagues about their fatherhood. Ive seen him rolling with laughter for the tension his friend went through when that guys wife got pregnant, now too at times he does roll in tension not knowing what is happening inside my tummy It is troublesome, painful, hilarious..for man & woman alike..but the fact that it is Beautiful stands true for both too!

Alms using ‘Arms’

I remember a sense of pride hitting my brother when he was just 16, he wouldn’t want to accept he “depends” or “relies” on dad or mom. He was quick to find a job, as soon as he completed his studies, having funded his post graduation fees from sources unknown to the family! I remember Eby telling a 100 time he doesn’t want to “depend” on his Dad, trying and supporting him back instead. It was an unsaid principal instilled in ‘guys’ I don’t know how or when..to not to extend your hand for anything but then exert them in hardwork and earn it yourself.

Agreed we are in an age wherein anyone and everyone speaks of  just loss and ‘good ole days’. But how much can people lose?. The other day I saw a policeman taking 5rs from a telewala!! Yesterday I saw a cop coming in and collecting money from a chinese restaurant. I thought parents brought up their brave boys to work as cops! I thought of all jobs it was ‘police’ who were the most ‘respected’. Common they were saluted ..for what???

I sit here and toil away 10 hours a day only to get back home and go about cooking and doing the vessels. There has been n number of lazy mornings when I wish I could at least take a leave..and actually when I was without job..more than anything else I found guilty as hell to ask money from Eby for my expenses!!! I know it’s a lill too much to comprehend but it is sheer fact. Not that I dint ask or never depended, but I really wished I dint have to. Im surprised how well groomed people donning a respectable job in the society could actually walk from shop to shop and collect money. Is it any different than begging??

And we have in our society a whole gang who claim themselves as ‘Transgenders’. To me they look like nothing but men wearing a woman’s cloth. “”edited after a few comments”"It is not that I’m not sympathetic to transgenders, Im trying to point out at those who exploit ruthlessly this sympathy. I hope we are all not blind to the whole lot of  ‘healthy’ men clad in sarees extracting money from people! How crippled are you when compared to me in earning for your own food.??? They “function” in a similar way? They have money for that neat and beautiful dress, flowers, bangles and makeup! They come barge into your store and demand for “alms”..nothing less than 10Rs!!! We asked a retailer.why does he even bother to give them? He answered that if he objected theyd come in groups and attack. If he calls the police, hed have to give them atleast 500..so he preferred the transgenders to the cops!! Better part with 500 in 50 days than in 1 single day! And coming back to ‘real transgenders’, I have seen a quite a few of them employed quite normally in Mumbai. Like all of us regular workers, they get into the ladies compartment, share their work stories to friendly fellow travellers and head back home in the evening. In short Im sure that 8 out of 10 that I see on the streets today are just lazy men who are out for easy money!

I believe the custom of offering alms to transgenders started when they were not cast away from the society and not allowed to work for their living. They were some who believed their “”blessings”” are good!! Don’t tell me any of these hold true in the current society, then why on earth are we scared of them???

Now we have “saints”. Mostly Hindus I believe.. These so called “saints”, grow large beards, wear ‘religious attire’ and come with a God, goddess portraits asking for alms! The other day when I dint care to offer, I heard him curse me in a language only he knows! Please.. today when technology and reason rules or even if they don’t exist,..don’t tell me my God is going to be annoyed with me coz I saw his snap and refused to give him “alms”!!!

If these ‘healthy’ people play a part in building up a lousy society, we who toil and earn also play a part in “breeding” such parasites! If you are keen in helping an individual, try and visit an orphanage, check the credibility of the organization and provide them with a hearty meal or old clothes.. Throwing off a coin to get rid of nuisance is easy..but remember you are playing a part in throwing the Nation to the underdogs.

Summer Rain..

Rain has always brought me something sweet along with them. Be it summer or monsoon they just make me look up with expectant wide eyes and a smile on my lips. The first time I fell in love with rain was in my village. I guess no one could resist her beauty there. Long green stretches of paddy fields swaying to her rhythm were a spectacle no poet could do justice to. Every year it brought something with it. A fresh academic year, new books, new bags, brown paper covers for the books, stickers with Mickey mouse pictures. It meant a whole new beginning for me.

In college, rains meant you could take your books and go to your rooms. This meant total freedom there in a convent hostel. We need not sit in a single desk, one behind another and pass notes to converse with each other. J That was how our study was..we used to sit around the building in a row, one behind the other and talking was highly impossible, especially for us who were right in front of our matrons room. Rain meant we could go inside our room and obviously that in turn meant we could gossip, eat, look out of the window and comment on all those who come that way.

I was somehow blessed to get hostels with a “nadumuttam” both during Pre-Degree & Degree. Now those who don’t understand the word “nadumuttam” – it is an opening right in the middle of a house or building. Rather the building would be constructed in such a way that there will be a small open ‘playground’ right in the middle. So degree also rains meant, closing all books, trying to reach the rain falling in the ‘nadumuttam’ from your balcony, gasp at the water being splashed to the balcony, tip toe and play with the water puddles that forms there and grumbling at the matron who arranges for the cleaning up of the space pretty quickly!

Post graduation unfortunately did not give any such facilities. There was one vast terrace and the only way we could enjoy the rains were after the rain, we could stroll on the cool terrace.  My journey to Pune & then to Mumbai made me realize how people just celebrate rain there. Even when the water was up till a little below my knees I enjoy the waded walk to my office and the appreciation that none except me had come in the team . It always brought a smile no matter where and what, a friend would remember me after a long time and call for a cup of coffee, it would be declared leave for both our offices and we could cuddle at home, hot vadapav, hot soups, hot coffee..it was a treat for the tummy too.

This summer rain in Bangalore was no different. Thanks to the ‘transit’ foodcourt in Forum the view of the windy rain outside was as pleasant as it could get. If I had no paddy fields, the very sight of vehicles drenched in a new shower was a sight in itself. And it did not forget to bring the smile with it..and this time it stayed with me till the truth sunk in and I was smiling real wide. Yes it brought the news of a new life for me. It brought the smiles of a new life that is budding within me. There isn’t any other way I could imagine I would’ve celebrated this news than that evening with the dancing rain and a cup of coffee and both of us…wondering about the intruder who’ll arrive in no time!

Love outlives troubles ;P

Laziness has its limits!!! How stupid of me not to have posted about my newfound love …the day..the minute we met.. Well..newfound would not be true..not because I delayed so much but coz I’ve fallen head over heels in love right at the age of 11! Yessss!!!

I was in class 6th when my “cricket mate” introduced me to the hottest one on earth! ;P. I sure loved taking kitchen utensils and cook rice with sand & curry with watery mud.but apparently Sumesh(5th std) & Anand (3rd std) couldn’t stand my silly games! Since they were the only souls around I gave in to their cricket, shuttle, battleships..and finally their pal..with whom I fell in love right away.

A swish with the pedals & it would take me places with the breeze lapping on my face. It was a pleasure incomparable with anything. It was then that I decided me & a two-wheeler ride were just born for each other! Now when you are in love, by experience most of you would know you will land up in a planet of troubles! WE “me & two-wheeler” were no exception!

Till high school it was just imploring/cajoling stage. The next stage of stealing glances over the fence & ‘other activities’ started from high school. In a village where girls were not expected to step out of the house without ‘body guards’ I paraded in my friends bicycle to & fro. Though I was happy to get away without falls & bruises, my brother saw to it that there were marks to remind me to stay far from such parades in future!!

There was a long gap & the next rendezvous was a cherished one as we both had upgraded. Me from a school girl to a college lady ;P (11th std) & my passion from a cycle to a motorcycle. I still don’t remember whose motorcycle that was, but I just waltzed with it throughout my huge college campus. For a change we parted without much trouble.

Then the ‘8’ that I had to take for a legal union. Trust me that was the stupidest 2-wheeler I ever set my eyes on, but since it was a solemn occasion I just stuck to my duty & got the papers in hand.

After that, we could only meet after I landed in a job. I joined as the lecturer in a college & borrowed my ‘students 2-wheeler’ when they were away on vacation. I couldn’t thank God enough for the fact that they were away, for I did have a rocking time with that dude. So rocking that I broke my leg at the right time so that I could step into the aisle of my real life wedding with a bandage on my leg!!

“It is love, not reason, that is stronger than death.” – Someone said & I believe J So after all those futile attempt at sneaking time for each other. I decided, it is time I own my passion

We may have tussles & I may get hurt again. But it is you that I longed all my life & it is you I have for myself now… Dear (Honda) Dio – Did I say I’m in cloud nine the day I got you?

PS: I purposefully dint add the snaps will post it later ;P

PPS: Thanks to Eby, for buying it for me ;P (Now you know whom you should hold responsible incase of accidents)

In a Race..In a Daze

I’ve waived away my life in the hope of living…..

In the hustle of life, I guess this is what exactly happened or happening to me!.

I’m busy at office, trying to hone my skills to cling on to a thin rope that is being cut from one end in the name of recession. I’m busy perfecting my body to stop people perceiving me as a watermelon, elephant, puffs and what not! I’m busy perfecting the role of a part-time homemaker lest I’m not chucked out of the role following incompetent performance!

Results?? Well being busy in office obviously means being sulky with your colleagues & boss, the latter being a comparatively more dangerous target.

Busy working out with a constant glance at the weighing scales, when nothing seems to work ends up in just hogging.! Too busy in the household chores means cribbing about/to your partner to a phenomenal degree! In short, very simply put, I managed to run through life at an amazing speed and stumbled & spoiled all that was on my way. I had no time for faraway bonds and messed up with all those in the vicinity!

What I wanted was just a little time to breathe. To take in the trivial joys of life. To be able to jump at the sight of the full moon in all its glory, to stand and watch the “aero planes”, to run peek at the ‘ice-cream’ vendor with eager hopes of getting one. Endless is the list.

Today everything is easy & readily available and hence not as valuable as it once used to be. Today getting a new dress is not an occasional festival matter, so I no longer have reasons to wait for that ‘special day’. Today, delicacies are not restricted to birthdays, so somehow it is just another day to remind me, I’m growing old.

There were days when I would listen to a song and muse over the lyrics a hundred time. Now lyrics are out in the open for you! You better shy away from them for their ostentatious meaning. There were days when I used to read out poetry from a printed-paper back book and admire the beauty

I was once acquainted with the word – emotional quotient – by my dove. I guess that is what is needed for my perturbed mind. To delve deep into my own realm of thoughts, my emotions and assess how well I handle them. To be able to sit, stare and smile at the trivial beauties of life. To calm down, for the race would just land me in a daze!