Should I bring in Athos, Porthos and Aramis and confuse you even more! Naahhh! Im just plain bored and out of wit and time for the whole effort Im sure you can relate much better if i just called them H-boy, Eby, and dad! Disclaimer: The order in which I have mentioned them has nothing to do with alphabets, priorities or their respective roles in treating my momentibuds! It only has to do with plain, thoughtless hurried typing .

And again, instead of going the clock-wise route let me start from evening – the minute i step in after a whole tiring day and a loooong and STUPID ride home(again nothing to do with my riding ma scooty as much as it has to do with the roads, the traffic and the prejudism against female drivers) – ok, no more deviations!!!

So as soon as I open the door ( my maid as a rule doesnt latch it-burglars kindly ignore!) H-boy( the first musketeer) from wherever he is will come running to look at my face – flash a mighty BIG smile and say “hhhaaiiiii” as if hes seen a box of chocolates (read- as if I saw a box of chocolates)! And? he runs in circles infront of me, probably to show the different styles in which he can – i seriously have no clue, but i realize its a ritual every single day now – 4 circles! Guess I’ll ask him when he grows up – as to what he intended! Perhaps hes imagining ramp walking (or ramp running?) in his head ! Okay – after exactly 4 rounds – and no he hasnt learnt counting, hed stops where he is and then rushes to take his ‘football’. I would not yet have kept my Bags down, mesmerised by his ramp show, when he would hold my finger with one hand, his football on the other and say “ba, ba” and demand a game of football! If you arent all that new to this place you would by now understood the hilarity of me involving in games – No i dint mean Id be mistaken for a football..its my sense in games I was hinting at! If that wasnt all – quite sad at my height I had planned that Id teach ma kid – Basketball. Well he found this more interesting and I have no choice, but curse my genes or sympathize with his girlfriends if he doesnt touch 6 or atleast 5’10 .

So I set my bags on the Sofa, coz im not allowed to enter any further without kicking the ball around! (please!!! read with a straight mind! ) and as I run around the house, “verbbbyyyyyyyy” My dad (the next musketeer ) calls me from his room. Thats not what my Dad calls me – but im helping you to relate better you see !. So inorder to avoid a scream, screetch and any other possible drama/violance I dont walk to my Dads room! I take the football game to the next level so that in a couple of minutes I reach Dads room!

Ball is in Dads court now! If i manage to step into my house before 9(which has become a rarity), my dad without any said rules or words insists on a small routine of sitting and chatting for 10-15 minutes. And man!!! Though I have admitted before everywhere that it was my dad who introduced me to reading, i havent till date realized his story telling capabilities. Back home, college days – few days when you get back from hostel all you concentrate on is food, food, food-period. Now, when I sit with him, the conversations often drifts to the olden days, or golden days. Little montages of our childhood, the stories of the so called famous neighbor (whose face Id have forgotten), little snippets of news from home – he has this talent of weaving dark humour into most of the not so harmful information he shares. Probably its his age, can be read as mine too – these lill chit chats – often leave me with a smile. Dot at 9, though he doesnt have a clock in that room of his, it would be time for him to sleep and I’d tuck him under the heavy blanket which he cant manage on his own at this age. And I continue the football back from his room to the hall. By now, H-boy has granted the 10 mins break and when I reach the hall, after another few rounds, Id get tad selfish and play some video songs on the laptop which will let him focus in that and I can do some stuffs of my own!

BUT if i thought I can rush to the bathroom for a quick shower, or even to wash my face?! NO! He will just not allow me to shut any sort of a door once i enter the house in the evening. Morning he is okay to part with me when I step out, but evening once I come back – im under his supervision every single second. you got doubts? go figure! or go give birth to a prankster!

So all i can do even after deviating his attention from me, is to grab a bite/prepare chappathi. This break again spans not more than 1o-15 minutes, by then he’ll get bored of watching the songs alone! (After all it is the same set of video songs which is played for him day in day out!!!) So then ill start waltzing around the hall preparing for the arrival of my next and most important (kidakkatte oru soap) musketeer – Eby. So why do I waltz in the hall for his arrival? Well to clean up the mess my first musketeer would have managed to do by then. The morning news paper or rather every single page of the newspaper, the stuffs from the kitchen, water, his toys AND whatever he managed to reach out by climbing the stool and stretching his hands, H-boy inevitably displays all of them in the hall! Its his achievement for the day – not to forget the scribblings with crayons on the walls (NOW i understand house owners’ logic of not lending to families with kids!!!). If i clear up the mess in a normal way, H-boy will again get pissed! So – I pretend Im enjoying the same mallu songs BIG time day in day out, waltz according to the tunes (if uve heard – karthave ni kalppichappol, ente adukke vannadukkum pemparannole etc, u can guess! ). That eby tried making me listen to Beethoven while I was pregnant and downloaded these for the delivered kid is a completely different topic to debate on!. H-boy in his own fashion joins me in the waltz, often helping to add more to the mess I try to clear!

This little musketeer is one of the best things that could have ever happened to me! I wish it could be possible to capture every single moment for keeps! But it is not practically possible. The minute he sees camera/mobile he grabs and tries to click your snap! Bless Ebys genes for that! The photographer son of the photographer dad – its quite natural I turn a model (of what is not a question to be raised here!). His style of running around the house, joy when hes naked! (NO – has nothing to do with either of our genes! its the age they say ) his style of raising his eyebrows after a prank, his acting!! (covers his face with his hands and pretends to cry when I raise my voice and then looks between his fingers:D) his way of carrying the stool around the house, coz he has realized with that added height he can accomplish muchcchhh more! and so on and so forth. It is PURE entertainment the entire time I rollick with him, every single evening!!!

Then after the food and shower, hes lulled to sleep, when enters the third musketeer! Or sometimes lill before that. When he does come before that, our immediate mission in hand, would be lulling him to sleep! Again – leaving no chances to be secular or stereo typed – If its me who sings the lullaby it will ALWAYS be – “neela karmukil varnan” (Vimmuuu – no your guesses on my singing ability are not welcome here! The kid doesnt knw nethng yet ) and at times when Im too tired and eby gets the chance it will be “kaaval maalagha maare” – For the non-malayalees who lost me there – one is a typical hindu song and another a xtian one! …

Though I never miss a chance to put up a sulky face if Eby gets late, I must/ am forced to admit – he has shown extreme patience and tolerance towards the work pressure I handled in the last few days! Being the semi-feminist I am, I hate to admit that the ability to understand and fully co-operate and patiently helping your partner out of your office tensions is something endowed only to men! If he comes late – Id sulk – hes not gettng enuf time with me. If he attends to office calls/messages – even after cming home – he doesnt have time for me!!!! Id choke the poor thing out of his breath! For many days – I reached home around 9, then at times will have calls, then mostly Ill have to rush the next day. He never complained and when he saw I was breaking down, just sat with me and reasoned with me as to how I can handle this better! Over coffee and conversations sort the tensions out! AND he makes the coffee a lill tooo strong to the verge of bitterness, so im grabbing the credit away claiming to create better coffees! But the conversations – Im not claiming even a single drop of it – the credit is all his!!

So the three musketteers together are filling this momentivore’s plate with nostalgic cream, fun-filled crackers and brewing ethopian coffee. Not mentioning the punch dialogues, sour faces, sulking, screaming, blah blah blahs…it cant be real world otherwise i guess! They do treat me and thats all that matters!!!

I might sound like Im bitten by the shopaholic bug,..but no -  i did point out that despite being thrilled about all those names, Ive hardly been there. The point is – In one year I was too busy to go anywhere, yet I was OVERJOYED with the fact that they are all near. Perhaps my mind wouldve thought, Id find time, once Im done with my chores. I end up spending almost 70% of my non-office hours in this stupidly shaped building called our home – in the most stupidly designed room called kitchen. But I remember falling in LOVE with this place the minute we came to see the house!

The ride was from this new found, custom-made for bachelors..dumb house – towards my then small office. Neither was I thrilled about my office which was more or less in the basement! Nor was I excited about the house. BUT…I was overwhelmed with the road you call 80ft road koramangala! Shady trees, temple AND famous joints and shops! It was a smooth blend of all. With music on, those were the best days of ‘walking to office’. I did thoroughly enjoy them!

Then, when I was left with my Dio – again I did explore and enjoy this place. That was just for a span of a few months but. With cab systems, pick ups and drops, I hardly saw the daylight except for the veggie shopping (again which was  just a hop away). Still, Im scared, tomorrow – I might miss this place like hell!

Everwhere – people talk about how cozy, comfortable and beautiful a home should be. For once reaching here – I was ready to compromise on anything just to hang on to this place. Some talk about the kind of community you live in..I have hardly made friends here -Ive become invisible even to my next door neighbor! Some say you stay in ANY place for smetime, youll get addicted to it. It only took a single ride for me to fall in place

Its just these roads, they pull me back! I was forcing my heart NOT to believe we are moving, even when we gotto know abt houses available tad further from here, I thought, Ill find here!..even when we talked abt it at home, my mind developed ideas of finding a house within this locality. To be frank even after giving the token money and pushing the owner to do the basic cleaning and repairing before we step in, NOW i have after thoughts to infact to be ready to waste the token money and grab a house if i get it here!

But again! Now the ball is in some other court. There is hardly anything that i can think of, except that – atleast that house is not built as dumb as this. While we were here – we deliberately kind of avoided friends barging in lest they run away seing the state of the house. There atleast theres some difference to it!

ohhh but i do feel like a lass who has to bid bye to her beau. Im sure this would haunt me even in my dreams…but I have no choice but to say bye…Adieu my friend, though my heart breaks to leave you, Im sure youll keep pulling me back…..

Im caught in the middle of a storm and Im trying NOT to touch the ‘touch-me-nots’ – thats pretty much what prompts me to yabber away like this in this wee hour. A storm of tumbling blocks. There is nothing I can do about it – nor am I gonna get hurt – but doesnt such a view trouble the hardest heart…If thats the storm and i helplessly sit and gaze there are these little touch me nots glaring at me – Its hilarious now – when I think of it – but at times it can also be quite unnerving.

If im to categorize people into flowers. ..

Some are like Roses – its so damn nice until you try plucking (quite heard of category), Some are like morning glories – Oh the initial rapport and ooof the later wrath . Some others like sunflowers – blooming where the sun shines…Oh yea – there are orchids – existing only where they are affordable.:P and i really dnt wanna go as much as carnivorous flowers.. gobbling its prey.

There are jasmines – bounding us in fragrance and beauty alike! Oh yea the ‘humble hibiscus’ – a resourceful bunch and not to forget the common – i am but nothing – dandelions. There are a few ‘lotuses’ symbolizing divinity and spreading across. Forget-me-nots – acquaintances that linger behind much longer than they have left us…Happy daisies-spreading smiles.

Of all things heard and seen – there is this pic that lures me. There are a couple of people who bring it back to my mind..there is this little inner yearning for it – The snowdrop. Subtle, silent and undisturbed.  There is nothing but the purity of its whiteness… A subdued innocent beauty!

It was deliberate an attempt to change the title from Hrehaan turns one – to this one. He was born on 30th Oct – when i couldnt even see him, I saw him on Nov 2nd when again I couldnt kiss him. I kissed him first on Nov 16th, scared that the docs will scold me, again when I couldnt hug him! As mom and son if we huddled together it was December 4th – a couple of days before we could take him home.

The first day I saw him, 2 days after delivery – I really wondered “do i really deserve such a cute lill thing?!” I think every mom would think the same. Theres even a saying that goes that way. But i seriously wondered and I was half scared that probably god would think that I dont deserve him at all!!!

And then for almost a few months, I hibernated not to anywhere else but into this world of cuteness and innocence. God is sooo systematic! There are development stages which correspondingly change the emotions in us! The first few days – the teeny weeny fragile beauty, would automatically make us “handle with care”.

after the first few days, the first smile would reward us like nothing else for all these endless wait for some reaction!

And then you wonder when they will start doing things on their own…

Then you have to accept – they have new friends in their life. Toys, games and they have started enjoying on their own as well.

And then comes the time to direct them just a little bit, even if its in their play, sensing their interests. Coz that indeed plays a role in their development.

And  – hence the one year was spent and my kiddo! is all set for the next one!

The journey together was awesome. I did just the physical work that was needed from me. Feeding, changing his clothes, washing, cooking, buying him stuffs, playing with him. He inreturn, gave me things that i cannot perhaps explain with the right words.

He has taught me “patience”. A year with him, with the patient waiting for the next stage in his growth, the patience and endurance to go through his health issues, the patience to stand his pranks – watever it is, has gradually touched my life all over.

He has taught me to “laugh” so much! When deep in thoughts and burried in worries – all i need is a BOOOOO! nd we split into giggles!!

He has taught me to be grateful – He was born on Oct and then, when my Dad’s birthday came the next september I wrote a letter to him. Thanking him for the adoration, the affection and the attention he had poured on me right from the first day.

And not to forget the art of ‘selfless love’ which probable no other relation can ever define this perfect.

He has given me a solid answer for a question that keeps turning in my mind – the reason to live.

I dnt celebrate his bday the usual way – cakes, candles and parties! That would be my “socializing” calling my friends and offering a party!

But i had an emotional trek!nd my mind did celebrate the best possible way! I walked through those same hospital corridors  – with gratitude – to the almighty ofcourse…

Met his doctors to see the smile on their faces when they heard he turned one and hes fine.

Thanked Eby for being there so much for me throughout! Tho I have hardly taken out the name so far, coz when i write I by default think from my perspective, hes been the greatest pillar of strength and support i could ever ask for.

I was filled with pride!~ for a change! I hardly ever had confidence! I hardly think anything that I do turn out good! But I was proud! for me and for Eby to have brought up this bundle of joy!!! I leave his tomorrows to him. I dont expect him to grow up and gift me anything. Each single day today is a gift  – a gift thats invaluable!

I decided the very minute he told me that i have to attend this. I quickly pinged my equally enthusiastic(in theatre plays) friend. She said yes, but after checking with her family she reluctantly cancelled the plan as they had to celebrate Karthika that day.
I went and asked another colleague! She was excited about the plan, but then messaged me a day before that she cannot make it as her friends had come over to her place and she had to attend to them. I asked my cousin, she too badly wanted to, but then her hubby fell ill. I racked my mind, I did dig out another pals name and thought of asking her, but it just skipped my mind. Saturday night Eby asked me, are you going for the play? I said “ofcourse yes” I have been bugging the guy for a long time now and now when they are here, how can i possibly not go?! (ppssst he dint host the show in Blore for me , still wats the harm in assuming so? )

So Sunday dawned pretty late as opposed to the relatively early rising routine. It was SUNDAY, i just felt i can stay the whole day in bed! But for my maid it was SUNDAY! I get up early every single day and Im still sleeping on a SUNDAY, when she wanted to go to the church!I could see her face swell, and I dragged myself out of the cozy blanket on a cloudy morning only to realize it was already 10:30!. We’ll go right now, I tried to console her in vain. Apparently churches start their sermons by 9am the latest!?! on a Sunday? I stood there staring at my maid, and I witnessed a change almost as quick as a chameleon changes its color. My maid’s went from dark, to dark red WITH a swelling and ‘killer silence’ effect.

I called up friends, regular church goers and enquired. Apparently there was a church a little far from my place which has masses at 12 in the noon. Now thats what you call ‘sensible’. Only thing, the travel till there to attend a regular church mass was not sensible from our part! After church, I reached home around 2 :15. I thought I had loads of time left before 4pm for my shopping to be done. I still dont know from where i initially got that notion, I stepped out, went halfway and then realised that I dont even know the way and it was almost 2:30 already and I changed plans and walked back home.

Time, mode of transportation, route all were the hassles i needed to tackle before I reach the place. I called up an ex-colleague as I knew he was working in Vasanth nagar and hed be familiar with the route.When i called he was just back from the hospital! The doctor had advised physiotherapy and care for his backpain! I sympathised, empathised and quickly started asking the route! I decided taking my two-wheeler would be the fastest mode as changing buses and fighting with auto walas would take even more time. Set out alone for the play when I reached midway and realised no matter what! Im not going to understand the way. I called up the poor fellow 10 times and HOOTED that Id be late for the play , when he assured me that I wouldnt even be able to make it the stuff. Apparently he knew the route and traffic more than me! He advised me to turn around and head for home. I fought with him and made him join right then.

He had no clue about plays, had no intentions of attending one and was in no good condition for that ride. He had no choice coz i was howling and on the verge of tears that i might get late! He took his bike and guided me, whilst I followed in my dio! Worst combo I tell ye! He quite seriously advised me that You shouldnt fit an accelerator to a cycle and call it a 2-wheeler! We reached halfway when I realised that there were “tickets” to be taken for the show! I had 20rs in my purse! I asked him, who had no plans of going anywhere and just walked out of his house to be pulled into this plight and he had carried 70rs! I screamed at him again asking how can guys roam around with such little cash! and decided that Ill go to the theatre and check if they swiped cards !  Rush, hop, jump and blop as I fell to the counter for tickets, 2 persons smiled and said the show is almost over! I was like its ok, my friend is acting in it and I just wanna attend. I asked them if they take cards? and they said No and advised I attend the 7pm show which would be a tad late for me to reach back home.

THANK GOD, I dint have money, THANK GOD they did not accept cards. THANK GOD there was another show at 7pm! Or i would have truly missed the show. It was a real nice experience and the play was definitely entertaining as opposed to the kind of ‘drama’ i expected.  The actors were so natural and perfect. The script had no repetitions or span of boring session inbetween. It was a smooth flow and the actors did true justice to the characters. The father and the pharma fellow!! haha and even Nautankey was at his best! Hats off rebelz.in! Waiting for your next appearance in Bangalore.

And hey i need to mention this. Nautankey is a nautankey only in his writings and his onstage performance. Once I called him to say a hi before i step out, there was such a shy person unveiled behind that mask of mischief!!!

To make things “better” I had decided that the only way to get adjusted to the ‘crowded’ loneliness is to dump myself into a list of priorities so that I end up too busy in doing things which will avoid me sitting and thinking and eventually cribbing. As a result, all those shopping, important documents procuring, kids treatment/medicine, course project, books..you name it i had procrastinated! Now they pile up and smile at me as I wonder how I’m going to run around alone to do all this!!!

I got busy during the weekend with my cousin. Was thrilled to find that she’s never heard of McD and doesnt have a clue about DBC. Saturday roamed with her the entire length and breadth of the city, Trying DBC, chocolava, McD, panipuri, popcorn (cinema special) punjabi kulcha, parantha & lassi..hmmm i lost track of what more..oh ya..drinks @ kiwi@kiss( bangalorean friends please dont waste your money there!) and yeah biryani & bajji for dinner! Sunday she started the day in the loo. It was a loop of vomitting and dysentry. It was not before 11am, that I got a glimpse of her  and then, I got busy in medicine for the stuff!

 Monday got busy buying things for the kitchen and cleaning up and getting things in order in the kitchen rack when my maid servant went out like a storm! i had no clue what it was all about and when asked I was reprimanded for not buying her milk for the last couple of days, (which actually I had bought but got spoilt as I forgot to boil!) No wonder my cousin calls her my ‘paid mother-in-law’!

Tuesday got busy with the hospital amd medicine. Went there, waited a long time only to be told the doctor is too busy with another patient! In short the pile had not come one step down. Infact it has piled up all the more. The only way was sorting it down. An old friend called for a coffee. i dont know if i sounded rude but I told in the most pleasing tone, that Im just not “mentally prepared” for coffee…i have a world swirling round me..Kindly excuse! I got back to the list and… thought the only way was to jot them down in a paper and do it one step at a time…when i got a call from someone very close!

“..am feeling very low”. I knew I had to empathize..sympathize..whatever. but my mind was in a roll. I waited to take a breath and asked. “why what happened”?!”  I was already ready with phrases like “dont worry” “Its ok” “things will take its time, but eventually settle down” etc etc. Not that I was in a really empathetical mood, but I know it was expected of me and i was prepared…till I heard the answer…

Guess what??? “I have got 3 new pimples in my face”!!!!

I seriously did not want to bash men here…but for the knowledge of those whos gonna come and comment that such is the nature of women this conversation happened with a “GUY” not a girl! ! and it wasnt a joke either!

Probably, it is because teachers then, had a major role to play in our life. It is somewhere in school that i got the thought that teachers are second mothers as we tend to spend a major chunk of our life with them, and they play a major role in molding us. I still remember that, I got the confidence to write things on my own from my 3rd standard class teacher, Ms FitzGerald who said I can write and enrolled me for a storywriting competition. I had run to her with so much pride when I got the 1st price! I would not have developed the least interest, even if i developed interest I would not have had the confidence. But the smallest gesture did boost the lill me a lot! I dont know why but ever since, it was my english teachers who had influenced me a lot. Perhaps, it was my interest towards the subject or perhaps it was due to the loads of stories and poems and the way they explained those. But i had the longest rapport with my English teachers.

5,6,7 – My english and special english teachers (Ms Suma and Ms Elizabeth) encouraged my reading habits so much so that they would select books from the library for me. I even got enrolled in the  library next to my house in 5th, not without the encouragement and support from Dad. I left the school after 7th, but I used to get letters from Ms. Suma even when i was in 10th!

9,10 – There was a ms.Leelamma – who kind of flattered me beyond words! We had a term test paper and there was a question wherein you need to write in your own words about ‘the person who influenced your life the most’!  She circulated my answer paper to the entire class for them to read!!! I did not know if I should jump with joy or feel embarassed, Coz my handwriting especially in exam papers were ‘pathetic’. So much so that some left in halfway and asked me to read it out for them!

Pre-degree, as the age would hint had the biggest impact. I was sooo much into English teachers – Ms Sarojakumari , nd Ms Florence that I hardly paid attention to the rest of my subjects. Ms Sarojakumari did respond to my letters, even after I left college for higher studies. She would make me and my friend sit and read the poems submitted by senior college students and evaluate them. The words used, the idea behind, the emotions within. Ms Florence infact had suggested me to join literature, which I ignored..and regret till date.

Degree we had English only for 2 terms and within that brief span I managed to get influenced by our English sir, Mr Murali, with whom am in touch till date. He was a healthy critic rather a booster, and helped in checking me from flying overboard with my language dreams in a ‘professional college’.

MIB – had no english subject, but I managed to get hold of the most ‘brainy’ teacher – Ms Mercy and tag around her all the time!  Seniors used to joke that you can see Mercy mam reading the newspaper even when she was in the backseat of a bike, then they started that, she’l have newspaper in her hands and me in the tip of her saree!

Ofcourse other teachers did loads to smoothen my way. Teachers then, were certainly different..if not at least the teacher-student rapport and the role of a teacher in a students life was different. I can vouch for this, coz I tried my hand @ teaching for  months. I have definitely done nothing to remain in the hearts of my students, nor anything that would remind them of me in their future lives. Probably by post graduation you are too grown up to get influnced or probably I just lacked the sincerity and efficiency that my teachers had. I quit the job with a firm understanding that it is not my cup of tea…not because I couldnt teach, but rather bcoz I lacked the maturity to etch myself a respectable place in the hearts of my students..the way my teachers were in mine!

This teachers day..let me thank all of them with the whole of my heart. Whether they knew it or not they had been my second parents and it is to them too that I owe, if i have gathered anything good worth talking about in this journey of life.

These complaints r common, I get sms jokes! of ways to get rid of ur wife! but ever wonder? who started it all? how was it before the roles ‘wife’ and ‘husband’ were donned?

Please understand that when I write girl & guy, it is a couple before marriage and when I write husband and wife it is the same couple after marriage and im not exaggerating or imagining as someone claims somewhere in his posts!

• Girl – “Can we talk?” . People who know the guy stop wearing watches. One o’clock is noted the minute he is at her classroom door. Hook or crook..run if he must. Hes there on DOT TIME.

Wife – ‘can we talk’ Husband – ‘ya tell me’ (with eyes fixed on mobile games) wife banters and halfway through..he either listens nothing or asks questions TOTALLY irrelevant

• Girl - “Can we go somewhere together?” Guy - Why not? ‘x’ ‘y’? ‘z’??  plan is made and they just ZOOM off!

Wife – ‘Can we go somewhere’ Husband - ‘Where?’ and then watches off some movie and dozes off till its too late and then wakes up and complaints..common its too late to go anywhere now~!

• Girl – how about a loooong bike ride? – they travel 120kms in bike!!

Wife - How about a loooong ride. Husband - ya we’ll go till reliance fresh, (which is 2km from the house) and we can also pick the veggies for the week.

• Girl - Im thirsty but i dont drink coke. Guy - wait here, on the lane next to the next lane there is a juice centre, il get u “ANYTHING” from there.!

Wife – I’m thirst, I dont want coke. Husband – OHhhhh u and ur Diet consciousness! where does ths go when u gobble the chocolates?

• Guy – u write poems? I love reading them..pls keep writing more…

Husband – Reading???? And me?? Please? Im allergic to such stuffs!

• Scene – Restaurant.

The guy leads to a table for two and as they sit there a waiter stands pretty near…

Guy – @#$%$ what the hell has he to do here? S**t..cant get privacy to talk!!!

Scene – Restaurant (after a unusually hectic…long and tiring week)

Husband & Wife sit @ table for two…

Husband – Can u look up and check the name of the speaker there?

Is it readable? Is it ‘x’ ‘y’? !!!!

Ive found it amusing to watch chameleons change their colors..I swear they take time! But this species which is called ‘lover’ initially and then Husband? Jaw dropping performance in the matter of changing colors within a matter of seconds! I mean I would have left it at that…if it was just that? But you know what? They dnt leave at that..They GOT TO…come back and joke about the misery of after marriage life!

Don’t give me those crap about ‘tear jerkers’ serials and stuffs I DON’T WATCH TV…I dnt have one…and Im loving it!!

Ok..you thought..shopping was another blame on the female species.,..Im not one bit exaggerating when I tell you…thrice I went to shop for footwear with my hubby and I “couldn’t” pick one and the fourth time I literally begged him not to come with me..and I picked one!

You thought spending was a deal? A salwar worth a 1000Rs are meant for parties and there are no shirts that have a brands stamp on it and priced below 1000!

You though gals spend time in reaching a place?? PLEASE u r mistaken? These guys consider themselves as ‘columbus’ and true they are…they reach ‘places’ without asking anyone (for fear of losing something) and then end up in reaching the right place in the wrong time!

You thought that compulsive cleaning disorder was only with us? For one fact if the house were a tad untidy, I can see the normal swollen face swell even more! And if there were any volunteering from his part to clean, it is NEVER lesser than 3hrs…not once less than that!

And yet when I strut around proud, smiling a thanks to all those female colleagues of mine who comment “wow, ur hubby’s so handsome” ,

I get this call from his friend – “guess what? I told eby I’m getting engaged and Eby laughed his heart off telling me that I DESERVE it”!  So there you go with the meanness of it!

Anytime and Everytime they are hooked to their mobiles, whatever gadgets and u are NOT supposed to disturb them…and?? One single day..if you spent a little too much time in messaging your friend, the questions come..who? for what? Why? How and when!!!

Hello please make up your minds!

If u think we are a pain, why bother so much when we smile at another guys…..sms!

If you think cleaning is detrimental..why do you come up with this cribbing that we ‘don’t’ do anything at all!

If you think we are ‘spending’…n hairpins!!! Where is your math when it comes to your weekend booze party expenditure and cigarette costs?

When you are hooked to movies, why moan about we wanting to go to the theatre~!

When you cant take your eyes off the screen (normally TV, in my case laptop) why the hell did u drag us off our ‘bachelor hood’.

For your kind info..we had a ‘BLISSFUL’ before marriage life…too

Where after work..we can go with friends and dine out, try all those ‘thattu kada’ specials. Joke around and get back home as and when we pleased.

We could buy & read books as much as we wanted with none to complain..or none to attend to!

We could plan up instant tours and set off to where ever we liked!

We dint have to cook, dint have to clean as much as we do now!  We could have ‘other’ stupid people fooling around us..trying to impress and revel in the attention!

We could wear what we want and freak out when we want.!…

So the picture is not that someone in a wedding garland looks like a monkey in chain..but rather…he is a monkey..whos got a garland..and obviously doesn’t know what to do with it!!!!    

PS: Though vimmuuu did prompt me to write ths..Im truly grateful to him for letting me put ths image here..and humbled by his response to my request tht “any publicity is good publicity for him”

Songs like ‘kanakamunthiri’ and ‘oru chempaneer pooviruthu’ songs make me wonder! if I have fallen in love all over again? or I’m just in love with songs. No matter how fast the life gets those few minutes, I slow down.

Off late there hadn’t been much of mallu tunes which I could tell brought me the same feel. Tamil yes, kankal irandaal. Malayalam – i had to sit and choose! Or rather wait till someone pointed their fingers, but I don’t call that ‘falling in love’. The falling comes when you trip across something.

Kannolam (PLUS 2 movie) was one tune I tripped on off late. Now I meant to write this at least a month before, so the term off late is relative here. It was a tune that took me back to my teens – dreams, romance and smiles. Something I would love to play while I watch the first shower kiss the earth, while I stop for the first rose of spring…while I watch the dew drops of the dawn on my window pane and I think of writing…(errr ebys name!!!!. – see wat marriage does to u!)

For this melody, is just that – freshness, romance and a young tender heart. The tune doesn’t let you stand far and gaze, it just takes your heart on a swirl to those days, those moments you had held close.

This song made me decide..Im gonna review all the songs in this album (Plus 2) so here goes the rest!

Manjaadi & Vellaaram -   tunes to sway myself..shake a leg..enjoyy..but at the same time which carries throughout the soul of music that keralites keep close to their heart. It is probably one for the newbies to snap, tap and dance. It is perhaps with its rap mix something that connects the “yo” crowd of today, but the song doesn’t leave the simplicity loving kerala soul behind and move into a meaningless chaos that some modern music gets into.

Thaane male – is like a breeze that comforts a crying soul. Heard best when you feel the demonized realities chase you to darkness and you soo badly want to sleep in the laps of fairies who will carefully wake you to the saffron hues of a lovely morning – devoid of those tears. Sometimes that’s what you want songs to do! At least that’s what I desire.  When I feel the going gets tough, I wish to crawl in a corner with soft melodies as though I expect them to comfort me, to caress me and this one actually did that!

Thaamara kkaatte – is again a melody, the likes of 90’s which still stays beside you and pakalilla raavilla by jassie gift – gifts you what you expect from jassie! Tap, step and pep!

Loved the album as a whole. As I said, far from being a scholar…im not even a school kid in music. But then I love songs which appeal to me and these from Plus 2 movie certainly did!

Have set things behind and moved on. It was a leap I was not really prepared for. One night’s talks, emotional upsurge, monster, interview and lo! Im now back to work with my 8 month old at home. You will be surprised how such a small thing, who can hardly do anything but smile and wail..can turn your life upside down..! Or..is it just me?

Work, creative challenges, friends and fun..everything seemed negligible all these days when i had almost completely hibernated for him. Now, out of the blue, when I had to come leaving him to the maid, its me and not him who’s missing out on everything. I can trace my emotions taking a small trip down the lane..thinking of how I was abandoned before by dears and how I might lose him to the daily grind.

Emotional intelligence is something Im yet to master, not that Ive mastered everything else..but this tops the list. Clinging on to those moments, tears for trivia and the scare for todays practicality makes me incompetent for the very life here. Friendships when they fade they have always left a scar in me. Reality never fails to shock me.

Today when I look back, it was easy for my bumchum to stop writing and gradually forget me, it was easy for my siblings to accept that I’ve moved out of the family, it was easy for some to ignore and yet some others to hate. Not one bit was easy for me. Each bond had taken its toll on me. Each statement that you are dear..did not fade without drawing a tear.

Today when I let go those wee little hands, a thousand thoughts haunt me..I was prepared and kept new bonds at the bay, knowing my emotional quotient. But this took me by surprise!..I had no other choice but drown deep in his innocence, to pride in his dependance, to adore his beauty and to admire his actions.  Now, when I leave him back with a hurried kiss and a hug, Im taken back to those days..when friends and family found it easy to let me fade..

I wasnt stubborn to prove my existence.anytime..anywhere.., but once drawn I was scared of the erasing that took place eventually…

PS: Ths post is not n the least meant for people like vimmuuu