For a Scorpion~

I thought I would move on

Coz siblings tend to be bygone

It was hard when I tried

To hide tears when I lied

But i realize I should move on

Coz by now it’s a case forlorn

Dear! I tried in vain to find

U in he or he in U and became blind

Each affection has a flavour

Mother or brother – nothings in my favour

I promise I shall move on

Time mends hearts that are torn..

 

This is a a tribute to my friend on his birthday..which was yesterday! It probably doesnt make sense to neone else! probably not even him. So just consider this as a loving gesture for a lost friend!

Dons of Dissection

She has come of age, has done her MBA! and look how beautiful she is!! I want you to find a groom for her.

Yeah A good gentleman he’s well qualified!

Idiot hes not our religion! What are u talking about!

Sorry sir – look hes so handsome

Yeah right but he’s a Gujarati u say?? How is it possible to marry her off to some other culture!

Oh..k He’s our own state..our own religion!

Comeon – look at his surname!! He doesnt belong to our caste! How would u imagine i would marry my daughter to some other caste!

Sir, sir – HE’s our own state, religion, caste..

But he has not done MBA like my daughter!!!!!!!!!!

Oh..i pity the brokers situation! he might have to go through this every single day! If dissection is there in the root levels why are we surprised that there are people to hurl stones at the words of politicians who try the british divide india rule?

I just commented on smitha’s post – ever heard of a person from Iowa being hurled stones at if he settles down in NewYork?  Have you ever read an article that the people of “devon” are protesting against “Yorkshire”???  Then how can we dream of a developed India when our minds still are in the developing stage?

In 2008 when people elsewhere are pondering the possibilities of moving into space what are we thinking of? My daughter will be better of is she’s being married and dumped by someone in my own caste than if she’s with someone from another culture! I will enjoy the movie and laugh my heart out but will throw stones at the actor if in real life he says – im born elsewhere?  Im happy if my company recruits only my state people irrespective of their talents than a maestro from other parts of the country?  

Either the word “education” needs serious refinement or we are not just educated! Give me a break! You want your son to speak fluent english, you dress up in jean and corduroys, you ‘grab a bite’ at McDonalds, and yeah what are you talking about??? your culture being distorted by fellow countrymen from other states?? You had some other names for them? Please!

Im least concerned about politicians – they were known to talk a lot and let them continue to talk. Neither was I interested then nor am I interested now! But what on earth are happening to the common public? Forget the national anthem, national pledge evoking equality stuff! You have brains enough to think? and segregate drama and real life? Ur Uncle is in US, your brother in UK but Hell no! Dont you let others step into your state?

Its saddening hilarity the country is stepping into day by day. O ye people who are up there coz we took the efforts to go stand in a queue and tick a piece of paper, can you just leave us alone if not helping out? O ye people who live, earn, eat and sleep..if you need some entertainment why not try educating the slum people, build houses for the poor for a change? No proper calorie burning stuff nor fun involved in it you say? Well… the gym run by the ‘punjabi’ down the road or the yoga classes by the iyer across the street might come in handy one day, u know! – If only – You can live and let them live!! Oh yeah if youve burnt enuf you can indulge in the bengali sweets you know if you let them live too!!

It’s high time we doomed the dons of dissection. The world out there is talking about global society, international partnerships, and you are keeping a watch on who’s catching a bus from next town to your place? The world is concerned about the estimate of undernourished people worldwide surging to 923 million and u are concerned to wed your daughter to a man who eats meat?  ROFL!!!

God for Sale

It was a new start for me and I found myself in the middle of an extremely chaotic phase! I need a break! And my sense of break was to have a conversation(rationalization/realization) in an extremely serene atmosphere! With no one to stare, no one to question. A blissful silent conversation to whichever superior force that in ways control the earth, to understand why I am running about in life! To reason out if there is any sense at all in the hustle I seem to make!

Im an ardent devotee of Krishna – solemnly baptized & christened “Mary” with considerable knowledge of the muslim practices (as a large chunk of my college & hostel life was in a muslim institute).  Mr. PI Patel’s religious consciousness is not foreign to me!

Seeking a day out for emotional balance & to remain connected with the supremacy I set off early morning with just a coffee to a famous krishna temple ( name withheld for fear of religious attrocities against me!). It was 3 hours journey from home! I went there, appalled with the hugeness i walked fast to reach my abode of peace & tranquility as soon as possible! But lo the moment i reached there I saw so many people crowded in one corner of that huge temple! Did the good lord step out of his shrine and walk till that small gate? he had larger ones the other end dint he??

They handed me a card in which a slogan was written and they were directing us in – one at a time! there were marble slabs placed till u reach the shrine at specified distance and u had to recite the slogan – “once in every step u take”!! Excuse me – I thought i came here to talk with him – to find peace! The pandit in charge was shouting aloud – chant loudly. NO – revolted my mind. I came here to talk with HIM to find that small smile behind that flute which i can find only with utmost concentration and the coolness that the water with Tulsi leaves gives me! Im not going to chant, im going to talk – hare krishna hare krishna – came the voices left, right, front and back! And by the look on their faces, they had no clue of what they were chanting or why they were! It was the only feasible way to reach the top they must’ve figured, quite like me.

I reached the jeweled statue, couldnt search for the smile as I was busy revolting agains the chanting/talking stuff still! I climbed still higher the shrine..wow a whole museum of idols, books, cinema halls, handicrafts, and eatables. I adored the sculptures, browsed through the book titles ( gasped at the prices of both), wondered since when “sponge cakes” were offered as prasadas! mused at the childrens T-shirt caption that stated “I lost my heart to (somethng related to heaven)! i mused only at the “lost my heart” words of it! wondering where I have heard it before.. my mind wandering to all the movies that had used those words!  and craved for food as my eyes landed on the huge supply of sweets, burgers, samosas that were there!

In short in my religious trip for a reunion with the self or the atma or the paramatma, I had a complete chat with the wordly trifles! I thought of food, i thought of dress, bags, sense of fashion, sculptures, artistic tastes, captions, wayward thoughts! everything but God!

Having the option of other lords to save me i thought i’ll set on the next trip
(the same day)! Many of you would be thinking Y need to travel to a holy place, why not ur home, a park – as God is there everywhere! As i said I just wanted a silent, peaceful talk with him, calm down my racing mind and a cool, serene atmosphere! I couldn’t do it at home, coz home was just too congested! No parks coz they apparently dint like the idea of a lady sitting alone in a park and i was confronted with a questioning face with such authority that i meekly succumbed to their unvoiced orders and headed home every time i visited a park alone with the intention of just sitting & meditating!

All said and done i set off my trip to the dome of peace & silent enduring – church! I carried some bread along ( a traditional offering in one of the churches here)(name withheld for fear of religious atrocities against me!) I traveled 2 hrs again the same day to find my tranquilizer and lo it was closed. In a sense I was happy, the place would be deserted and I can blabber what i want and find Mr. Peace & ask for some of his peace portion.

The guard looked curiously at the large pack of bread i was carrying! He has his reasons to stare as I do look a Hindu and the papers were full of stone hurls and violence of Hindu people against Christians! Well he directed me towards the Priest – well he is an appointed member, a mediator – but i thought i traveled in the hope of a direct conversation. I need to rush back. Its 7 and I may have a good 2 hrs journey back! I went to the Priest nevertheless, gave him the bag as my mind raced to the lonely corridor dimly lit to relieve my mental burden. But i was not to hasten, my mediator wanted my complete information, perhaps hes going to submit my file to the almighty! But we were following open door policy till now, right? even with the Almighty?

What is your name? Where are you from? You traveled all the way till here? How did you get to know of God? (err? no one else knew? i get some reward/incentives?) Are you of this church, How often do you come..thus flowed his unending quiz..long enough for me to be aware that I have to schedule my appointment with Mr. Peace for another day! As i rushed out his door he called me back to inform that I should surely meet him the next time i visit the church! His tone remided me of a beautiful lady (Guys now dnt ask me if she’s single – No she’s not!) from Poland whom i met n a bus & who started talking to me about religion. She was telling me why do I believe in a God who is into violence and adultery and why nt convert into christianity (i dnt let out my PI situation to her ;P). I smiled a very pleasing one thinking that no matter how muchever people tease me for my foolishness I’m certainly better than a damsel from Poland who expects people to hop into religions at her words like it was a running train!!! God save her from the “real people who are actually into violence!!”

Yesterday I dint for once pray for health, peace or wealth for myself or my family..but i prayed nevertheless for the supreme power which is believed by all to control earth, planets heaven and what not! I prayed that let him/her/it not be “sold” like this!! I thought the religion in me was to discipline me! I remember my mother taking me to the pooja room to check if i lied! I till date don’t have the guts in me to lie to my boss of taking a leave due to “food poison” without turning away from the God’s pic in the living room! But with t-shirts,caps,bags,walls,papers, everything having his name I have no choice but ignore! I might covet something that was sold to me, but i never would revere it.

Religion is sold, its a commodity today as dangerous as drug setting people violent on the roads. Are we foolish to believe the louder the screams the more the Lord hears it? Are we stupified to believe we are waging a tug war with the supreme power and the more the number of people in our side the more the chances of pulling him to us? Are we blind enough to actually believe that killing a creation would reinforce our tie with whom we believe as the creator! Or plain – are we ready to be the monkeys of those political wizards who take advantage of the situation in a strikingly coincidental manner – blast after blast!

Or is it coz its the age of commercialization! Today God out there is all about marketing techniques, promoting, increasing customer base, ensuring customer loyalty and the worst – competition and trust me competition that is the worst of its kind!!! Rush..grab this fantastic offer – God for Sale at 100% discount. *conditions apply. (u benefit only from promoting it further, even if it costs lives! peace! watever!)

Words and Worlds

I just tripped across this line somewhere – err i dunno for sure if its quoted the same way. Well it just meant that “writing causes social schizophrenia”. Probably at the first look, the line seemed contradicting itself. Does one medium of communication be a block for another medium of communication? But with an afterthought i would hold true this statement.

I may have a bundle of reasons like lonely childhood, confused adolescence and instances of cynicism to relate to the butterflies that flutter in my stomach when i face a new crowd, a strange person. I have often been the mocking lot of my friends for the way i communicate at times. God alone knows the plight of those MBA guys whom i taught for 6 months ;P. 

 

I picked a book during a lonely trip to avoid a conversation and ever since, my handbag has a novel in it! Fretting over a friends forgetfulness made me resort to diaries, for fear of it being thought immature if i actually expressed it. I have been collecting diaries since then. I cook with reckless abandon if i have visitors so that i can confine myself to the kitchen & not actually face them ;P.

If I am to trace to the roots of such behavioural patterns! i think i can dig up to those days when written words were like the first drizzle to me – much awaited, never enough, cherished long after its gone! I fell in a tryst with words – the written pearls. I would sit by my window side in those lazy vacations, the entire upstairs was my kingdom and i would recollect a few famous lines thinking i was the best scholar around, would watch those strech of paddy fields and sit down with a pen & paper and act to myself that i was born to win the booker prize!!

                                                                                                                 

 

There I had discovered a haven! Words – the silent ones that can never criticize me, that can never get bored of my blabberings. I can write as i please, erase and rewrite! Its a world out here, so green that i neednt search any further. Why do i need those loud noises who call themselves words too! They give me back nothing but “out of the world stares” – (my husband still gives me that when he “happens to hear” my nonsense!), those mocking laughs, those cynical smiles!!!

Now can u call tht schizophrenia in any remotest sense? Now dont “call” it if at all u feel to – better write it down i prefer to read than hear it!

Melting Desserts

After a very late dinner we walked up to an ice cream parlor. An odd place to visit in the middle of the night, had it not been for sleepless Mumbai! And mind you we did have company there whenever you feel you’re doing something odd there is nothing when compared to the pleasure of finding a company. But I should say our pleasure was topped with a greater degree of surprise when we saw who our company in the lonely shop at the middle of the night was..

 

 

There were three of them the eldest being not a tad more than 12 years and the youngest just 5 or lesser than that and I should say the age would be of lesser concern. The major concern was that they were one among the number of beggars that flood the streets in India. They had begged in the morning for a piece of bread to sustain their lives and here they were in the middle of the night to have a sumptous dessert. Do we not throw them coins of charity? be it coz of the prick of conscience they so efficiently evoke by a dirt soaked body and tear soaked cheek or be it just the haste to drive them away whilst you can romance uninterrupted. Well I know not whether they had their share of a meal that day, but I knew they had come for their share of a dessert. We had settled down for just a single scoop each not without commenting how we ought to cut down our unwanted expenses. However the tiny tots did not seem so wary and I half expected them to be. They had chosen 2 different scoops each and were picking other packed choco bars. And as I fumbled through my bag for the fifty bucks our scoops had cost us I heard her “chutta hoga 5 sou ke liye?” not sure whether I heard it right I looked at her palms outstretched with a real 500 Rs note!. Well why do I want anyone to pinch me to make sure I’m not dreaming? It could’ve been their earning (through begging) for the day, not forgetting that it ought to be 50% more than the average workers salary, or it could’ve been that they just stole it!! Whichever the course – it could not have been a promising one for the growing buds of the nation!

I would have smiled or even been happy for them for the whale of time these tots were having at the ice cream shop if only the picture of their future melting faster than any ice-creams was so vivid. The picture is clear – professional beggars or lambs for the greater professionals who would amputee their arms or legs and place them in the middle of any crowd. Yeah they no doubt would achieve immense expertise in tickling a pain in our hearts and make us throw a coin. I had a friend of mine from Poland visit India last year, India he agreed was one of the best places he had visited. He was an avid traveler who can boast of having covered almost 100 countries by now. I asked him why he didn’t bring his wife along and the answer really shocked me. She had fallen ill last time she visited India seeing the beggars and their plights on the street that she resolved never to visit India ever again. . I could say nothing but hope with all my heart that never in their lightest jokes would they have ever given India a sobriquet of – the land of beggars,,,or for that matter never do so. Not that I pretend to be queen Elizabeth and ask “not even a piece of cake?” I wish begging only would no longer be considered as an art in our country and the growing buds not be crushed and denied of a spring wherein they deserve to bloom.

I reminisce the dream of a beautiful India that was instilled in me as each morning I was to pledge that I’m proud of It’s rich and cultural heritage. Now I’m puzzled, if today becomes tomorrow’s heritage will there be anything left to be proud of? Since the laws the state has made against begging are only pieces to adorn the law books, will there be any innocent hearts to take pride whilst a large chunk will be flocking in the streets for alms.!!!! If we can realize that child labor is a crime.. it’s high time we realized that child begging is a greater shame.!!

Snow White & The Dwarfs

It’s probably in lower primary Ive read this story! Never touched the book again nor seen a movie on it! But somehow the story remains intact, its beauty uscathed. Whilst all the credits go to the author I would credit the beauty of the character! I still remember snow white’s mom sitting by the window sill and knitting while the needle pricks her and when she sees tha blood in her finger she wishes that her baby would be as white as the snow, her lips as red as this drop of blood and what not!

Perhaps Nikhat’s mother wished those too and which mothers dont! For her face reminded me of some fairy tale beauties when i first saw Nikhat at the reception of my office. And with dimples adorning both her cheeks! (dimples werent referred in fairy tales! its more of a modern concept of beauty i believe!) Meticulous nd systematic as she is it is hard to determine from her speedy deliverance of her duties that her one hand and one leg is slightly diabled~

Talk of her plans for marriage and there she goes! Stories of people who came and couldnt accept marrying a disabled! People who came, were ok with the “problem” if they were given a lakh rupees! The dwarfs! But apparently it was more than just 7 who belittled themselves asking money as a means to compensate for a difficulty their future spouse would be dealing her throughout her life!

                                                                                                                  

 

I probably can understand if a person is not comfortable with her state, but it goes beyond comprehension the state of mind of a person who thinks a lakh rupees would help him forget the physical state of his spouse for a lifetime!

What is that emotion that he claims to hold for the one entering his life which blooms at the sight of few notes and fades at the lack of it! Will he kiss her less if the fortune she brought doesnt fit his desire? will he lean on her less should he fall ill?

What is the emotion that the parents claim to hold which seeks compensation for upbringing a boy at the time of his stepping into a wedlock! Will they feed him less if some prediction assured he wouldnt bring a wife with great fortune?

The heroism in the yesteryear fables that maks the man say – come with me and il take care of ye, seems to have been forgotten. Now I hear it as – Come with money and u take care of me!

I remember our wedding vows to be something like this..I,,

 take thee, to my wedded wife/husband,

to have and to hold from this day forward,

for better, for worse: for richer, for poorer;

in sickness and in health;

to love and to cherish,

till death us do part,

according to God’s holy law;

and thereto I give thee my troth.

 Think now these wedding vows need to be altered –

 

 ♥In health richness and prosperity I shall be with thee..

In sickness or poverty, be assured I shall flee!!♥

Like dew drops they filled her eyes, tears that .traumatize her for a lifetime, for a fault that isnt hers! She rattled on..my friend from the fairy tales, of the guys who liked her face but spurned her physical state, who accepted her shortcomings but scorned her financial state! I feel they all are dwarfs, who have belittled themselves before my snowhite, but they will help her to learn the world & live her life till one day her real prince arrives!