Verbivorehere's Weblog

Reflections on Reality!

An emotional trek..

I guess Im back to blogging…atleast better than before..! There is some correlation between office time and your social activities :). Having net at home just doesnt give you the mood to write something..;)

Have set things behind and moved on. It was a leap I was not really prepared for. One night’s talks, emotional upsurge, monster, interview and lo! Im now back to work with my 8 month old at home. You will be surprised how such a small thing, who can hardly do anything but smile and wail..can turn your life upside down..! Or..is it just me?

Work, creative challenges, friends and fun..everything seemed negligible all these days when i had almost completely hibernated for him. Now, out of the blue, when I had to come leaving him to the maid, its me and not him who’s missing out on everything. I can trace my emotions taking a small trip down the lane..thinking of how I was abandoned before by dears and how I might lose him to the daily grind.

Emotional intelligence is something Im yet to master, not that Ive mastered everything else..but this tops the list. Clinging on to those moments, tears for trivia and the scare for todays practicality makes me incompetent for the very life here. Friendships when they fade they have always left a scar in me. Reality never fails to shock me.

Today when I look back, it was easy for my bumchum to stop writing and gradually forget me, it was easy for my siblings to accept that I’ve moved out of the family, it was easy for some to ignore and yet some others to hate. Not one bit was easy for me. Each bond had taken its toll on me. Each statement that you are dear..did not fade without drawing a tear.

Today when I let go those wee little hands, a thousand thoughts haunt me..I was prepared and kept new bonds at the bay, knowing my emotional quotient. But this took me by surprise!..I had no other choice but drown deep in his innocence, to pride in his dependance, to adore his beauty and to admire his actions.  Now, when I leave him back with a hurried kiss and a hug, Im taken back to those days..when friends and family found it easy to let me fade..

I wasnt stubborn to prove my existence.anytime..anywhere.., but once drawn I was scared of the erasing that took place eventually…

PS: Ths post is not n the least meant for people like vimmuuu 😛 😛

Advertisements

June 18, 2010 - Posted by | Uncategorized

16 Comments »

  1. 🙂 You are scaring me!!!

    But honestly speaking some bonds are such that distance or few hours seperation can not affect them!!! 🙂

    Comment by Smita | June 21, 2010 | Reply

    • and you are scaring your kid !! 😀 😀 😀

      Comment by vimmuuu | June 21, 2010 | Reply

  2. LOL, seriously Verbi, while reading through the post, I was thinking,”now, what do I comment on such a post?”; your PS helped me a lot now !!! 😀 😀 😀

    ‘Emotional intelligence is something Im yet to master’ — dont think too much time on that; you arent going to achieve it. To master that, you atleast need intelligence ! 😀 😀

    Comment by vimmuuu | June 21, 2010 | Reply

  3. @smita – i knw 😉 and ull know when you’ll have leave ur tot behind for office :P..howz u??
    @vimmuuu!! i knew “kulam thondummnnu”! hence i added th PS.!

    Comment by verbivorehere | June 22, 2010 | Reply

  4. 🙂

    Letting go is always hard. Some ignore it to deal it later and become so emotionally stinted that when emotions burst out they get nervous break down.

    Better to hurt at every step and be healed. 🙂

    Comment by Winnie the Poohi | June 24, 2010 | Reply

  5. Sweet… 🙂
    Don’t worry so much, you’ll begin to understand things sooner or later!
    And babies DO change your world! For the better…

    Comment by Niveditha | June 24, 2010 | Reply

  6. Wow. Okay.

    So. A LOT of things have happened over the past year. A lot. Ah well, 365 days – thats a lot. No wonder.

    Good to read you again.

    And pleasantly surprised to see an 8-month old bundle of joy with you. Bless him.

    Peace. Take care. Be well.

    Comment by Kartz | June 27, 2010 | Reply

  7. Wow.
    “I had no other choice but drown deep in his innocence, to pride in his dependance, to adore his beauty and to admire his actions.”
    I always knew you had this power over words. But this, now this is something, woman! I think you really should start writing the book! 🙂

    But well, dont worry. My momma started working 3 months after both her deliveries…and you know, right? She has the most adorable, and adoring, kids she could ever want 😀 So, chill maadi.

    You know what? LOL. after our trip to Munnar, just one night’s stay later, Jaya went home to find that her lil girl hadnt missed her at all 😀 She quit her job then….but well, they didnt accept. so, she’s still going 😉

    Comment by scorpria | June 27, 2010 | Reply

  8. @ winnie – Better to hurt at every step and be healed. be it ur poems or the comments 🙂 i always feel our thoughts r n teh same page.
    @nivedita – 🙂 thanks! he seriously has changed it already 🙂
    @kartz – welcome back! u were truly missed in the blogfield..glad to see u back! yess a whole lot has happened!
    @scorpria – im honoured…:P the day u become the proof reader for any publications ill write and submit it to u 😛
    i was wondering looking at jayas face thth ive seen her smewhere…has she put on a lot? or am i talking about the wrong person herre?

    Comment by verbivorehere | June 28, 2010 | Reply

    • 😀 Please! I’ll make sure its a best seller 😉
      And yea, thts Jaya alright, se’s put on quite a lot! 😀

      Comment by scorpria | July 5, 2010 | Reply

  9. It’s my first visit to your blog and I must say that wonderful picture in the post kept me glued to your homepage for a while 😀 😀
    Good to see you’ve conquered a lot in life while you’ve been away from blogging and are recharged to get into the world of writing again.
    You’ve got a very interesting pen name 🙂

    Best wishes for the future 🙂

    Cheers!!

    Comment by Chatterbox | July 30, 2010 | Reply

    • hey thnx for dropping by 🙂 and thanks for the wishes..the snap is my finger holding ma baby’s taken by ma hubby 😛

      Comment by verbivorehere | August 5, 2010 | Reply

  10. Very sweet post, I’m sure motherhood is something which can’t be traded off for anything in this world. Howz the new job going?

    Comment by Kanupriya | July 30, 2010 | Reply

  11. @kanu
    heyy looong time! going n just fine 🙂

    Comment by verbivorehere | August 5, 2010 | Reply

  12. Aww thatz soo sweet. And I luvvv that pic in the post. Scrolling up so many times to hv a look again and again 🙂
    Gud luck verbi 🙂

    Comment by Swaram | August 9, 2010 | Reply


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: