M’a’N’KEY to all problems~!

Enough is enough! some crappy people around the blog world have been incessantly cribbing about their wives and their marriage endlessly now!! High time for some fodder for these!!!

These complaints r common, I get sms jokes! of ways to get rid of ur wife! but ever wonder? who started it all? how was it before the roles ‘wife’ and ‘husband’ were donned?

Please understand that when I write girl & guy, it is a couple before marriage and when I write husband and wife it is the same couple after marriage 😛 😛 and im not exaggerating or imagining as someone claims somewhere in his posts!

• Girl – “Can we talk?” . People who know the guy stop wearing watches. One o’clock is noted the minute he is at her classroom door. Hook or crook..run if he must. Hes there on DOT TIME.

Wife – ‘can we talk’ Husband – ‘ya tell me’ (with eyes fixed on mobile games) wife banters and halfway through..he either listens nothing or asks questions TOTALLY irrelevant

• Girl – “Can we go somewhere together?” Guy – Why not? ‘x’ ‘y’? ‘z’??  plan is made and they just ZOOM off!

Wife – ‘Can we go somewhere’ Husband – ‘Where?’ and then watches off some movie and dozes off till its too late and then wakes up and complaints..common its too late to go anywhere now~!

• Girl – how about a loooong bike ride? – they travel 120kms in bike!!

Wife – How about a loooong ride. Husband – ya we’ll go till reliance fresh, (which is 2km from the house) and we can also pick the veggies for the week.

• Girl – Im thirsty but i dont drink coke. Guy – wait here, on the lane next to the next lane there is a juice centre, il get u “ANYTHING” from there.!

Wife – I’m thirst, I dont want coke. Husband – OHhhhh u and ur Diet consciousness! where does ths go when u gobble the chocolates?

• Guy – u write poems? I love reading them..pls keep writing more…

Husband – Reading???? And me?? Please? Im allergic to such stuffs!

• Scene – Restaurant.

The guy leads to a table for two and as they sit there a waiter stands pretty near…

Guy – @#$%$ what the hell has he to do here? S**t..cant get privacy to talk!!!

Scene – Restaurant (after a unusually hectic…long and tiring week)

Husband & Wife sit @ table for two…

Husband – Can u look up and check the name of the speaker there?

Is it readable? Is it ‘x’ ‘y’? !!!!

Ive found it amusing to watch chameleons change their colors..I swear they take time! But this species which is called ‘lover’ initially and then Husband? Jaw dropping performance in the matter of changing colors within a matter of seconds! I mean I would have left it at that…if it was just that? But you know what? They dnt leave at that..They GOT TO…come back and joke about the misery of after marriage life!

Don’t give me those crap about ‘tear jerkers’ serials and stuffs I DON’T WATCH TV…I dnt have one…and Im loving it!!

Ok..you thought..shopping was another blame on the female species.,..Im not one bit exaggerating when I tell you…thrice I went to shop for footwear with my hubby and I “couldn’t” pick one and the fourth time I literally begged him not to come with me..and I picked one!

You thought spending was a deal? A salwar worth a 1000Rs are meant for parties and there are no shirts that have a brands stamp on it and priced below 1000!

You though gals spend time in reaching a place?? PLEASE u r mistaken? These guys consider themselves as ‘columbus’ and true they are…they reach ‘places’ without asking anyone (for fear of losing something) and then end up in reaching the right place in the wrong time!

You thought that compulsive cleaning disorder was only with us? For one fact if the house were a tad untidy, I can see the normal swollen face swell even more! And if there were any volunteering from his part to clean, it is NEVER lesser than 3hrs…not once less than that!

And yet when I strut around proud, smiling a thanks to all those female colleagues of mine who comment “wow, ur hubby’s so handsome” ,

I get this call from his friend – “guess what? I told eby I’m getting engaged and Eby laughed his heart off telling me that I DESERVE it”!  So there you go with the meanness of it!

Anytime and Everytime they are hooked to their mobiles, whatever gadgets and u are NOT supposed to disturb them…and?? One single day..if you spent a little too much time in messaging your friend, the questions come..who? for what? Why? How and when!!!

Hello please make up your minds!

If u think we are a pain, why bother so much when we smile at another guys…..sms!

If you think cleaning is detrimental..why do you come up with this cribbing that we ‘don’t’ do anything at all!

If you think we are ‘spending’…n hairpins!!! Where is your math when it comes to your weekend booze party expenditure and cigarette costs?

When you are hooked to movies, why moan about we wanting to go to the theatre~!

When you cant take your eyes off the screen (normally TV, in my case laptop) why the hell did u drag us off our ‘bachelor hood’.

For your kind info..we had a ‘BLISSFUL’ before marriage life…too

Where after work..we can go with friends and dine out, try all those ‘thattu kada’ specials. Joke around and get back home as and when we pleased.

We could buy & read books as much as we wanted with none to complain..or none to attend to!

We could plan up instant tours and set off to where ever we liked!

We dint have to cook, dint have to clean as much as we do now!  We could have ‘other’ stupid people fooling around us..trying to impress and revel in the attention!

We could wear what we want and freak out when we want.!…

So the picture is not that someone in a wedding garland looks like a monkey in chain..but rather…he is a monkey..whos got a garland..and obviously doesn’t know what to do with it!!!!    

PS: Though vimmuuu did prompt me to write ths..Im truly grateful to him for letting me put ths image here..and humbled by his response to my request tht “any publicity is good publicity for him” 😛