Verbivorehere's Weblog

Reflections on Reality!

M’a’N’KEY to all problems~!

Enough is enough! some crappy people around the blog world have been incessantly cribbing about their wives and their marriage endlessly now!! High time for some fodder for these!!!

These complaints r common, I get sms jokes! of ways to get rid of ur wife! but ever wonder? who started it all? how was it before the roles ‘wife’ and ‘husband’ were donned?

Please understand that when I write girl & guy, it is a couple before marriage and when I write husband and wife it is the same couple after marriage 😛 😛 and im not exaggerating or imagining as someone claims somewhere in his posts!

  • Girl – “Can we talk?” . People who know the guy stop wearing watches. One o’clock is noted the minute he is at her classroom door. Hook or crook..run if he must. Hes there on DOT TIME.

Wife – ‘can we talk’ Husband – ‘ya tell me’ (with eyes fixed on mobile games) wife banters and halfway through..he either listens nothing or asks questions TOTALLY irrelevant

  • Girl – “Can we go somewhere together?” Guy – Why not? ‘x’ ‘y’? ‘z’??  plan is made and they just ZOOM off!

Wife – ‘Can we go somewhere’ Husband – ‘Where?’ and then watches off some movie and dozes off till its too late and then wakes up and complaints..common its too late to go anywhere now~!

  • Girl – how about a loooong bike ride? – they travel 120kms in bike!!

Wife – How about a loooong ride. Husband – ya we’ll go till reliance fresh, (which is 2km from the house) and we can also pick the veggies for the week.

  • Girl – Im thirsty but i dont drink coke. Guy – wait here, on the lane next to the next lane there is a juice centre, il get u “ANYTHING” from there.!

Wife – I’m thirst, I dont want coke. Husband – OHhhhh u and ur Diet consciousness! where does ths go when u gobble the chocolates?

  • Guy – u write poems? I love reading them..pls keep writing more…

Husband – Reading???? And me?? Please? Im allergic to such stuffs!

  • Scene – Restaurant.

The guy leads to a table for two and as they sit there a waiter stands pretty near…

Guy – @#$%$ what the hell has he to do here? S**t..cant get privacy to talk!!!

Scene – Restaurant (after a unusually hectic…long and tiring week)

Husband & Wife sit @ table for two…

Husband – Can u look up and check the name of the speaker there?

Is it readable? Is it ‘x’ ‘y’? !!!!

Ive found it amusing to watch chameleons change their colors..I swear they take time! But this species which is called ‘lover’ initially and then Husband? Jaw dropping performance in the matter of changing colors within a matter of seconds! I mean I would have left it at that…if it was just that? But you know what? They dnt leave at that..They GOT TO…come back and joke about the misery of after marriage life!

Don’t give me those crap about ‘tear jerkers’ serials and stuffs I DON’T WATCH TV…I dnt have one…and Im loving it!!

Ok..you thought..shopping was another blame on the female species.,..Im not one bit exaggerating when I tell you…thrice I went to shop for footwear with my hubby and I “couldn’t” pick one and the fourth time I literally begged him not to come with me..and I picked one!

You thought spending was a deal? A salwar worth a 1000Rs are meant for parties and there are no shirts that have a brands stamp on it and priced below 1000!

You though gals spend time in reaching a place?? PLEASE u r mistaken? These guys consider themselves as ‘columbus’ and true they are…they reach ‘places’ without asking anyone (for fear of losing something) and then end up in reaching the right place in the wrong time!

You thought that compulsive cleaning disorder was only with us? For one fact if the house were a tad untidy, I can see the normal swollen face swell even more! And if there were any volunteering from his part to clean, it is NEVER lesser than 3hrs…not once less than that!

And yet when I strut around proud, smiling a thanks to all those female colleagues of mine who comment “wow, ur hubby’s so handsome” ,

I get this call from his friend – “guess what? I told eby I’m getting engaged and Eby laughed his heart off telling me that I DESERVE it”!  So there you go with the meanness of it!

Anytime and Everytime they are hooked to their mobiles, whatever gadgets and u are NOT supposed to disturb them…and?? One single day..if you spent a little too much time in messaging your friend, the questions come..who? for what? Why? How and when!!!

Hello please make up your minds!

If u think we are a pain, why bother so much when we smile at another guys…..sms!

If you think cleaning is detrimental..why do you come up with this cribbing that we ‘don’t’ do anything at all!

If you think we are ‘spending’…n hairpins!!! Where is your math when it comes to your weekend booze party expenditure and cigarette costs?

When you are hooked to movies, why moan about we wanting to go to the theatre~!

When you cant take your eyes off the screen (normally TV, in my case laptop) why the hell did u drag us off our ‘bachelor hood’.

For your kind info..we had a ‘BLISSFUL’ before marriage life…too

Where after work..we can go with friends and dine out, try all those ‘thattu kada’ specials. Joke around and get back home as and when we pleased.

We could buy & read books as much as we wanted with none to complain..or none to attend to!

We could plan up instant tours and set off to where ever we liked!

We dint have to cook, dint have to clean as much as we do now!  We could have ‘other’ stupid people fooling around us..trying to impress and revel in the attention!

We could wear what we want and freak out when we want.!…

So the picture is not that someone in a wedding garland looks like a monkey in chain..but rather…he is a monkey..whos got a garland..and obviously doesn’t know what to do with it!!!!    

PS: Though vimmuuu did prompt me to write ths..Im truly grateful to him for letting me put ths image here..and humbled by his response to my request tht “any publicity is good publicity for him” 😛

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August 17, 2010 - Posted by | Uncategorized

13 Comments »

  1. Whoa! Someone’s thoroughly irked 😀

    Moral of all this: Vimmuuu — stop publicising your married life 😛 😛 😛 : P: P 😛

    Comment by scorpria | August 17, 2010 | Reply

  2. First of all, lemme comment on the photograph – that chimp looks happy; no man can ever look happy on their wedding, unless he is ‘seduced’ by cash and jewelry from a distance, or drunk or having a loaded gun behind him !!! 😀 😀 😀

    and when you asked me permission for my snap, I thought you would morph my image with a chimp so that people can recognise me. How will anyone know thats me now ! This is in NO way a publicity for me. PEOPLE, MARTIANS and whoever gets to reads this crap, ITS MY FOTO THAT SHE HAD MORPHED. please folks, my foto…my foto !!!

    and now the post…

    I guess, Eby is a tough nut to crack ! 😀 Cant comment on the lover-husband conversations cuz I could never convert one to another ! 😀 😀 😀

    but since you got something from your personal life, heres what I have :

    before marriage :

    Girl : Dont worry, I am low maintenance. I dont wear makeups and I hate shopping.
    Guy : Oh. Me too. I hate cosmetics.

    a month after marriage (on cosmetics) :

    Wife : Lets go for shopping. I need face wash, face scrub, face cream, face blah, face bleh (and the list goes on…)
    Husband : ya, but you said …

    Wife : These are not make ups, these are my bare essentials.
    Husband : Gulp !

    Oh, similar is the case with your shopping too. Some of you are so dumb that you need 3 days and 3 hours a day to make a choice ! and at the end reject it for some silly reason !

    I agree some of us change immediately after wedding. Thats because of you all again. To cope up with your ever-green wants and needs, we always had to ‘customise’ ourselves ! we need to survive too !!!

    Oh, please, we are frequent users of our 1000 rs. shirt. But you find a use with your 1000 rs salwar only once and then refuse to wear it again saying “people wouldve seen it already” yeah, rt? people have nothing else to notice. you all then fight for one more 1000 rs. salwar for another party. even if at all, there is anybody who notices your dress, it will only be another woman. and parties for you are as silly as a stupid reunion, or a 1 year olds bday, or a neighbors cousins friends wedding !!!

    Most of the guys dont come on time, I agree. I dont fall under that category. BUT…after wedding, I have always been late for movies. and thats only because of her. fortunately, she doesnt deny this. Dont know why women take so long a time to get ready. If I am not wrong, she tries atleast four to five dresses in a session 😀 😀 😀

    On the cleaning part; we have that swollen face only because you all crib 24/7 about keeping the house clean and the difficulties involved in it and yet we find dust all over !!!

    Honestly, I dont care if my wife speaks to anybody. Infact I am happy if she is on the phone for hours together. I get to enjoy my privacy till then !! 😀 😀

    We go for shopping only when we need things. and when we go for shopping, we get inside the shop, select whatever we want in a few minutes, pay and come out. But women on the other hand, they dont have a clue what they want, spend the whole day there and come out with whatever they are never going to wear !

    We all love movies, but when we go to a theatre, our primary objective is only to watch the movie. But when we take you along, watching movie is secondary; you need to empty the theatres food stall and our wallet! Guys normally return home after the movie, but you want to empty the hotels on the way; well, you have an excuse for not cooking, na? “ohh, we went for the movie, Im so tired, cant cook!” yeah, right, and we are not tired driving/riding you here and there !

    You spend on chocolates and the guys spend on booze and smoke. Thats balanced if you ask me, except for teetotalers like me who are always the losers ! 😀

    Last but not the least, most of the women will never get to know what a man goes through after his wedding. Thats only because they arent married to another women. You know why same sex marriage isnt entertained by many, because they know that the number of divorced women will be higher !!!

    I rest my case here. Phew !

    Comment by Vimmuuu | August 17, 2010 | Reply

    • Vimmuuu, you forgot to say “My name is Vimmuuu and I’m not a sexist” 😀 😛

      Comment by scorpria | August 17, 2010 | Reply

      • LOL, I was reserving that as a title for my post ! 😀 😀 😀

        Comment by Vimmuuu | August 17, 2010

    • God! Another post in the comment section 😛

      @Verbi: Sigh! So all men r like that hmmpf!

      Comment by Swaram | August 17, 2010 | Reply

  3. I luv the title of the post the most Verbi 🙂
    And so happy someone answered Vimmuuu on behalf of all of us 😛

    Comment by Swaram | August 17, 2010 | Reply

  4. @ scorpria – love that reply to vimmuuu! just LOVE it!
    @ vimmuuu – admire ur humour sense..bt u knw wat!!! half of ths is just to fight back…u knw id any time support same sex marriage! Guys wil never b happy wit girls except for…!!!!
    and wat more they make our lives miserable with all those jokes..on aftr marriage ‘plight’ of theirs!
    @swaram – exceptions shud be searched wit teh ink they talk n th old days! nd even if there are exceptions…certain “publicizers” of their “pathetic plight” feed it nto th head of theirs!!

    Comment by verbivorehere | August 18, 2010 | Reply

    • Oyy, verbi, I made that dialogue (of course, inspired from My name is khan) during my chat with scorpria ! 😀 I am sure now you are LOVING it even more ! 😀 😀

      I know this poor effort of yours was to fight back, but please never underestimate me. You should have come up with something that will make my mouth shut forever ! Ahhh, better luck next time ! 😀

      Comment by Vimmuuu | August 18, 2010 | Reply

  5. @vimmuuu – i agree tht ths was a very very pooor effort! twas all due to lack of time u knw! im nt alas a husband who claims i have no time for romance..no time for trivial joys of life..but more than enuf time to do all nonsenses like “mobile games!” silly browsing and blah blahing abt marriage miseries!
    and I loved scorprias ‘timing’ for taht comment..even if its urs!:P

    Comment by verbivorehere | August 18, 2010 | Reply

  6. I am loving this…both the post and the comments…and the pic too….LOL !!!! 🙂

    Comment by UmaS | August 21, 2010 | Reply

  7. @ verbivore: AWESOME!! Hi Five female!
    @ vimmuuu: therinjukko.. purinjukko.. pesaade!! 😀

    Comment by av | September 4, 2010 | Reply

  8. hii

    long tym!
    loved ur post.. its true, after some time pple get frustrated with their spouses .. loved every bit!

    Comment by AS | September 8, 2010 | Reply

  9. I see, so it all started here and has been going on and on 😉 😉
    You are spot on verbi 😛
    Keep up the good work girl!!

    Comment by Chatterbox | September 16, 2010 | Reply


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