Verbivorehere's Weblog

Reflections on Reality!

One Year Journey so far!

DISCLAIMER: Emotional Trek Ahead!

It was deliberate an attempt to change the title from Hrehaan turns one – to this one. He was born on 30th Oct – when i couldnt even see him, I saw him on Nov 2nd when again I couldnt kiss him. I kissed him first on Nov 16th, scared that the docs will scold me, again when I couldnt hug him! As mom and son if we huddled together it was December 4th – a couple of days before we could take him home.

The first day I saw him, 2 days after delivery – I really wondered “do i really deserve such a cute lill thing?!” I think every mom would think the same. Theres even a saying that goes that way. But i seriously wondered and I was half scared that probably god would think that I dont deserve him at all!!!

And then for almost a few months, I hibernated not to anywhere else but into this world of cuteness and innocence. God is sooo systematic! There are development stages which correspondingly change the emotions in us! The first few days – the teeny weeny fragile beauty, would automatically make us “handle with care”.

after the first few days, the first smile would reward us like nothing else for all these endless wait for some reaction!

And then you wonder when they will start doing things on their own…

Then you have to accept – they have new friends in their life. Toys, games and they have started enjoying on their own as well.

And then comes the time to direct them just a little bit, even if its in their play, sensing their interests. Coz that indeed plays a role in their development.

And  – hence the one year was spent and my kiddo! is all set for the next one!

The journey together was awesome. I did just the physical work that was needed from me. Feeding, changing his clothes, washing, cooking, buying him stuffs, playing with him. He inreturn, gave me things that i cannot perhaps explain with the right words.

He has taught me “patience”. A year with him, with the patient waiting for the next stage in his growth, the patience and endurance to go through his health issues, the patience to stand his pranks – watever it is, has gradually touched my life all over.

He has taught me to “laugh” so much! When deep in thoughts and burried in worries – all i need is a BOOOOO! nd we split into giggles!!

He has taught me to be grateful – He was born on Oct and then, when my Dad’s birthday came the next september I wrote a letter to him. Thanking him for the adoration, the affection and the attention he had poured on me right from the first day.

And not to forget the art of ‘selfless love’ which probable no other relation can ever define this perfect.

He has given me a solid answer for a question that keeps turning in my mind – the reason to live.

I dnt celebrate his bday the usual way – cakes, candles and parties! That would be my “socializing” calling my friends and offering a party!

But i had an emotional trek!nd my mind did celebrate the best possible way! I walked through those same hospital corridors  – with gratitude – to the almighty ofcourse…

Met his doctors to see the smile on their faces when they heard he turned one and hes fine.

Thanked Eby for being there so much for me throughout! Tho I have hardly taken out the name so far, coz when i write I by default think from my perspective, hes been the greatest pillar of strength and support i could ever ask for.

I was filled with pride!~ for a change! I hardly ever had confidence! I hardly think anything that I do turn out good! But I was proud! for me and for Eby to have brought up this bundle of joy!!! I leave his tomorrows to him. I dont expect him to grow up and gift me anything. Each single day today is a gift  – a gift thats invaluable!

December 3, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | 20 Comments